Blessing and Ideal Family
by Reverend Sun Myung Moon
THE TRUE HUSBAND AND WIFE AND THE IDEAL FAMILY
TRUE HUSBAND AND WIFE
1. THE ORIGINAL RELATIONSHIP OF HUSBAND AND WIFE
One man and one woman are the substantial object of the invisible God,
His son and His daughter. Man represents God's masculine (+) nature
and woman represents God's feminine (-) nature. God -- the harmonized
body of the dual characteristics -- is divided into two entities
formed separately, and these separate bodies are to be united again to
resemble God. This is the principle of creation. The unity of one man
and one woman represents the original unity of God's plus nature and
minus nature. This is the harmonized body resembling God. Therefore,
two human beings, husband and wife, symbolize the whole of God.
Man is True Father's incarnation and woman is True Mother's
incarnation. They are also respectively representatives of God.
Therefore, when they become one in love, they are embracing the
universe. They become the central point of the entire cosmos.
A husband represents all men, so he is father and older brother as
well as husband; a wife represents all women, so she is mother and
older sister as well as wife. That's why husband and wife should
naturally respect each other.
Man is God's positive external form (hyung sang) and woman is God's
negative external form, so a couple is like a bag which has inside it
the whole universe. Therefore, a husband and wife can feel the ideal
of God's heart of love.
Man symbolizes heaven and woman symbolizes earth. They are to unite
and form parallel lines.
The perfection of man and woman's love is the perfection of the
universe. When this love is broken, the order of the universe and the
vertical world are destroyed.
The union of man and woman is the union of heaven and earth.
The embrace of man and woman itself is the union of the whole
universe. It is like the original appearance of creation centering
upon God's ideal.
Adam desired to control the cosmos. He cherished the value of husband
and wife and this desire represented the central value of the world,
didn't it? True love should occupy this central position, but look at
the status of today's evil society! People pursue physical
gratification only. You shouldn't follow this corrupt trend.
You should know the holiness and value of the love of an original man
2. THE IDEAL OF THE TRUE HUSBAND AND WIFE, WHICH MUST BE RESTORED
A wife should think that her husband is God's representative. She
should be in the position of a daughter to her husband. The husband
should restore her as God's lost daughter. God lost three feminine
objective positions due to the fall. One of them, the position of
God's daughter, should be restored through the husband. Therefore the
wife should trust her husband more than she does her father. They have
to face each other centering on this standard, which is much more
valuable than the sum of their past experiences. Unless they restore
this heartistic standard, husband and wife cannot restore the standard
of the ideal object, which was destroyed by Satan. A husband should
treat his wife as his mother, and they must be so intimate that they
cannot stay away from each other even one day. They are each to be an
existence absolutely needed by the other. Unless husband and wife
become one like that, the condition of restoration is not established.
A wife is the mother's incarnation, the encapsulation of the mother's
body for her husband. She is also the physical encapsulation of an
older sister and of a younger sister, and she is the representative of
all women in the universe. To love one's wife in this full
dimensionality is to love the mother, older sister and younger sister
on the level of all humankind.
Likewise, a husband is the father's incarnation for his wife. He is
also the physical encapsulation of her older brother and younger
brother. We must accomplish this ideal of the family. A man is True
Father's incarnation and a woman is True Mother's incarnation.
Therefore, neglecting one's wife is like neglecting True Mother, and
deceiving one's husband is the same as deceiving heaven.
A wife should consider her husband as her father and grandfather and
then as her older brother and younger brother.
A husband is to raise up his wife as his younger sister, to love her
as his bride and to serve her as his mother. He is to love his wife in
the order of younger sister, older sister, bride, and mother. By going
through this course, we can restore the love that God lost due to the
Why do we marry? We marry to discipline ourselves to love the world
and to qualify ourselves to love humankind.
We receive the Blessing for the sake of God and the world. Then what
is the purpose of love? In order to love the world, we are to love the
one closest to us, who represents the world. A woman is to love her
husband in place of her father, older brother, and younger brother,
and a man is to love his wife in place of his mother, older sister,
and younger sister. The husband and wife are bound to love and respect
each other representing those four generations in the closest
position, giving stimulating love and respect to each other.
The husband and wife relationship is the basic unit to give and
receive worldwide love. Because Jesus couldn't set up this basic
condition, the Marriage of the Lamb, bringing together a bride and a
bridegroom representing the world, should be held this time.
In order to think of your wife as your mother, you have to be the
baby. Be a baby! It is not bad to be a baby. A woman likes a man
playing on affections. Try it if she likes! Try crying over food like
a baby. Don't worry. God won't scold you for your immature behavior.
It is inevitable in the course of restoration. When you say to your
wife, "Mommy, give me rice," she will be joyful, saying, "Aha, here's
our big baby."
Unless you are determined to restore the lost love of woman, you
cannot restore the original family standard.
God has not had the experience of parental love, conjugal love and
children's love with one person; this results in His resentment, which
must be restored. When those three kinds of love are induced through
one person, the heartistic Kingdom of Heaven can be restored.
Ultimately, the only problem is love.
The new history starts from a bride and a bridegroom. By believing in
Jesus, you are to make the pure and burning bond of love. Staying in
the state of engagement is not enough; you are to become a real
husband and wife. The couple should stand in the position to judge the
past history and solemnly to start the new history as new ancestors.
Without achieving this position, you cannot be considered a human
When a bride and a bridegroom individually are restored through
indemnity and become a husband and a wife representing heaven and
earth, God will acknowledge them, saying, "You are the flesh of my
flesh, the most dutiful son and the most loyal subject." Then they are
qualified to represent all the nations of the world.
How is your blessed family life? Do you fight? It is not easy to be a
husband or a wife. Do you know how difficult it is for God to find an
ideal object on this earth? After losing His sons and daughters, God
has been establishing religions at the cost of great sacrifice through
the course of history. Owing to the foundation of such sacrifices, you
are called here and blessed. Dare you fight with each other after
receiving such valuable love? It is easier to be the president of one
nation than to be a husband or a wife of one family. The husband is
the substantial God on earth. Man is the substantial representative of
heaven and woman is the substantial representative of earth. When they
are harmonized, the ideal is accomplished, filled with joy and song.
The power of love is limitless, so when you are intoxicated with God's
love, you are in God's dominion.
I blessed you because I want you to establish a family which is
objective to God and which is qualified to receive His love, so you
shouldn't fight. It is not that the husband is not responsible for his
wife's mistakes or that the husband can stand righteously while a wife
does something evil. You should serve your spouse as God, more than
you serve anybody else in the nation or world.
Women in the Unification Church should think of their husband as their
God and men should think of their wife as their God. The one who
serves one's spouse as God is considered to be the one with true love.
And then you are to serve your husband as your Lord. The Lord is the
King of Kings. Aren't you happy to live with somebody representing
God, Lord and King? You should be as joyful to see your husband as you
would be to see God. Because love is unchanging, it can penetrate
anything. The way of love is such that love goes through an
individual, family, nation, world and even God; it can go through
When a wife is as happy to see her husband as she is to see the Lord
or King, she carries the value of God's object. If you are God's
object, you have the same value as God. When you completely love the
King, Lord and God, your love can penetrate anywhere. Therefore, these
three kinds of love are like a crystalline lens. True love can unite
all the creation.
When you go to the spirit world with such love, you will be one with
God. There is no boundary in love. Your husband is sent by God, the
Lord and the King. He carries God's bundle of love, so you cannot deny
such a precious guest, whether he is handsome or not. Without this
understanding, you are not qualified to get married. When you relate
to the four directions with such love, the whole universe is embraced
in the realm of your love. Then you love subjects as your King,
humankind as the Lord, and the universe as God. This enables you to go
to the Kingdom of Heaven. The Kingdom of Heaven is the place to which
those who love humankind as they love their own spouses or their Lord
can go. Ultimately, from the viewpoint of love, God, the Lord and the
King are one.
When man and woman become one, the whole universe can be one. Man
symbolizes heaven and woman symbolizes earth. Man is in the subject
position and he doesn't want anyone to intervene with his affairs. But
love and truth can control anybody. Woman wants to receive love and
she is passive. In this sense, man is to be a giver and woman is to be
a receiver. That is why the oneness of man and woman is the oneness of
heaven and earth. Only love can dominate the universe; therefore, you
have to consider your spouse as greater than the universe. Our desire
is to have an object who can receive and cherish us.
You are to love people. Man is to love woman and woman is to love man.
The representative of man for a woman is her husband, and the
representative of woman for a man is his wife. The husband is sent as
the representative of all the men of the nation, of the world, and of
the spirit world. The wife is sent as the representative of all the
women of the nation, of the world, and of the spirit world.
In order to build the Kingdom of Heaven, a man should be able to love
all the women of the world as he loves his wife. Think that you picked
your wife as the companion representing all the women of the world. A
woman should think of her husband as the companion representing all
the men of the world.
What do you have to love first in order to love your nation? In order
to love the nation a man should be able to love one woman, considering
her to be the chosen representative of all the women in the nation.
The same is true for a woman. When the two representatives of all men
and all women become one and establish a family, that family belongs
Conjugal love is necessary to introduce and teach the feeling of the
Kingdom of Heaven in the future.
The families of the Unification Church should establish the "Kingdom
of Heaven of the Family." When the "Kingdom of Heaven of the Family"
is established, the Kingdom of Heaven on earth surely will be
accomplished. In order to stimulate the real feeling of the future
Kingdom of Heaven in the present position, we need an object. When we
are stimulated by our spouses in our family, we can feel in our
present daily lives the ideal of the Kingdom of Heaven which is to
come in the future. That's why husband and wife are needed. Husband
and wife can live eternally through such stimulation. Development is
impossible without stimulation.
Conjugal love is the stimulating force to build the ideal Kingdom of
Heaven. Conjugal love pulls the joy of the future into the present
time and supplies the present with driving force which empowers us to
reach the future. This love includes love of nation, world and God, so
it can penetrate everywhere.
The Kingdom of Heaven is the place for the loving husband and wife
only. If a couple lives their physical life realizing this concept of
love, they are already in the Kingdom of Heaven. Jesus said that the
Kingdom of Heaven is in your mind, but the Unification Church says
that the Kingdom of Heaven is in your family. If you cannot establish
the Kingdom of Heaven in your family, the ideal of the Unification
Church will not be accomplished. If you can build the Kingdom of
Heaven in your family, the ideal will be accomplished. With this
viewpoint, you must go the right way centering upon the Principle. A
woman should love her husband as her father, grandfather and brothers;
and on the foundation of this bond of love, she should love her actual
father, grandfather and brothers. Otherwise, she is not qualified to
have a husband. If she just loves her husband while hating her father,
grandfather and brothers, she will drift away from God's Word.
You should have the concept of loving your husband as the fruitful
representative of all men in the world. When your love transcends the
national boundary and embraces the whole of humankind as your family,
you will be acknowledged as God's son or God's daughter. This is
It would be a blessing of good advice to say to a person who is about
to die for the sake of his family, "Abandon your family and die for
your nation." Isn't it right? If it isn't wrong, you should behave
like that. It is proper to give a painful word like "sacrifice your
family" to a person who is struggling with his poor household. The
nation is the window through which shines a dawning light opening the
way of the Kingdom of Heaven for the family. When you concern yourself
with your nation's household more than your own family's, the nation
will protect you. When such a person starves, the nation will shed
tears. A multitude who sacrifice for the sake of the nation and the
world, beyond their own families, can dominate the world without a
physical battle, because no one can oppose them. This is God's
Ask yourself in front of a mirror, "What dream have I carried on so
far?" The dream shouldn't be a dream for yourself, but should be a
dream for heaven, the world and humankind. An ideal man and an ideal
woman want to have a spouse who loves the world, God and humankind
more than himself or herself. It is evil when a wife bothers her
husband's public mission for her individual love. That's why it is
said that your own physical family is the enemy. The ones who can
destroy your chances at the critical, final moment of entering the
Kingdom of Heaven are your loving children, spouse and parents.
3. THE POSITION OF THE. BLESSED COUPLES
God is composed of Father God (masculinity) and Mother God
(femininity); therefore, all things in the creation are also composed
of the dual characteristics of positivity and negativity. Eve is the
wife of Adam through a horizontal relationship. In front of God,
through a vertical relationship, she is Mother God as well.
The vertical God and the horizontal God meet at the time of the
Blessing. The family is the place for this meeting. When the family is
established, God and human beings can be united. Whenever and wherever
the family is established, the vertical God as well as the
"horizontal" Mother and Father God will be happy. God, father and
mother are to be easily and naturally combined like the branch and the
leaves of a tree. This is the seed of love that God desires as His
In the blessed family, man should live with the dignity of God and
woman should live with the dignity of God's wife. If man and woman
become one centering upon God, they will live in love in the physical
universe and in the spirit world. This is fundamentally different from
the type of love that Americans give and receive.
Living with God's dignity in true love has to do with the whole
relation ship between God and the universe, because the origin and the
result are one and the same love. This is the principle of vertical
and horizontal love. Blessed families appeared with special grace
enabling them to surpass the standard set at the origin by evil
parents, and to determine the standard of good parents and have the
right of good ancestors. Therefore, the joy of husband and wife is the
joy of Heaven and earth. You are to create such a family.
Satan tempted Jesus, saying, "If you are the son of God, throw
yourself down." This means that Jesus had to govern the fallen realm
and gain victory over Satan's trials. In other words, if Jesus came as
the son of God, he was supposed to have been separated from all the
suffering conditions in the course of God's restoration. The focus of
the 6,000 year history of restoration is to discipline humankind to
restore Adam. Then, what shall we do after restoring Adam? We are to
create Eve. We shouldn't let Adam and Eve be alone this time. We have
to take good care of them and comfort them. We always have to he right
beside them, going eastward if they are headed east or going westward
if they are headed west. The blessed couples are like the restored
Adam and Eve.
Because an older brother and younger sister fell, a husband and wife
as a brother and sister should be acknowledged by God. They must enter
the domain of liberation by going over the crisis of indemnity in the
fallen world. Unless a husband and wife meet again as brother and
sister, they cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Since the married
couples of all religions have not known this, they have entered the
spirit world separately.
The Unification Church teaches us how to remain united on earth and in
the spirit world. That's what Father does. That is the Blessing.
All fallen men are archangels, fallen archangels. Woman in the fallen
world is in the position of Eve who tempted the archangel, and man in
the fallen world is in the position of the archangel who tempted Eve.
The problem now is how to take care of the transformed fallen Eve and
archangel, who have become the restored Adam and Eve.
Don't think that there are thirty billion people in the world; they
all are our enemies. Here you are establishing the God-centered four
position foundation. You have to get rid of all the fallen factors in
the physical world and in the spirit world. In order to overcome
Satan's total attack, you must have power stronger than Satan.
When a man reaches the restored Adam's position, Eve's position can be
restored. And then they as a liberated husband and wife should
establish the heavenly law to serve God. As soon as they set up the
heavenly law, a new tribe is born.
Examples of the law of love between parents and children have been
shown in history, but no one has practiced the law of love between man
and woman. We haven't seen the content of the law of love between
Jesus and the Holy Spirit, a bridegroom and a bride. We have to show
this new standard of conjugal love and live according to it.
God manifested the attitude of parental love through the 6,000-year
history of looking after His lost sons and daughters, but He couldn't
demonstrate the love of man and woman to humankind. It was God's
frustration and resentment that He couldn't establish the value of the
horizontal love between man and woman, even though He showed the
vertical standard of loving us as His children.
So it is God's desire to establish the substance of Jesus and the Holy
Spirit, to witness to the value of their love in front of the universe
and humankind, and to let it shine throughout the entire spirit world.
Knowing such resentment of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, you should
dissolve it in your lifetime. You are to set up the tradition of man
woman love which can accomplish this. That's why a man looks for a
woman and a woman looks for a man.
4. IDEAL HUSBAND AND WIFE
Why did God make it that man needs woman and woman needs man? It is
because God did not want to let one person live independently, but
desired that two people live together for the sake of the future
world, centering upon God's desire and love. When a husband and wife
live hand in hand, dreaming optimistically of the future and denying
the fallen reality, they will be able to go through any difficult
environment. The difficult reality will not damage their future but
will stimulate in them a new vision for the future. The ordeal of the
present reality then will not restrain them. When a man and a woman
stand in the position to respect each other, fully aware of and
accompanied by the value of the future, the site of happiness will be
established right there.
God established Adam and Eve as each other's ideal spouse because they
are absolutely needed for each other. Unless the subject and the
object make a bond of affinity in the present reality they cannot
relate to the future. God established Jesus and the Holy Spirit as
subject and object in order to manifest this cosmic content. Nobody
can deny this.
In order to extend the dominion, you get married.
A couple has to establish a family with the affection generated from
each other, and it should match God's purpose. Otherwise, you cannot
enter the Kingdom of Heaven where God dwells in eternity. This is the
conclusion and God's purpose of creation.
God is composed of vertical dual characteristics and each human being
is composed of horizontal dual characteristics, so the ideal of
husband and wife is to create a perfect sphere by the unity of the
vertical God and the horizontal human beings.
Husband and wife should love each other as God's representatives. If
you love from a humanistic point of view, you will eventually get
divorced after discovering each other's shortcomings.
If a man and a woman get divorced whenever one of them makes a
mistake, the family system will be destroyed and the order of society
will be thrown into confusion. According to the degree of the mistake,
they are to be given the indemnity period to repent. They should be
educated about their mistakes and should be led not to make the same
mistakes, in order for them to continue as a harmonious family.
Who are the true husband and true wife? When people become mature,
they learn to form a family. They should consider their spouse to be
their eternal object of love and their love should grow, day by day
adding more and more love to the first love. When husband and wife as
the substantial bodies of eternal love can extend the family-level
love to the love of a tribe, they can be considered a true husband and
true wife. Then they also can participate in God's love.
The true husband thinks that he was born, lives, and will die for the
sake of his spouse. The same is true for the true wife. The husband
and wife of an ideal, happy and peaceful family carry the principle to
live for the sake of their spouse.
All of you are men of influence and fame in your society. You may
think that your success is achieved by your own talent and effort, but
you have to know that your very being was caused by a woman, not by
yourself. Without a woman, can a man be born? What about a woman? Was
she born for the sake of herself? It is vanity to be proud of being a
famous feminine movie star in colorful make-up without a man. A man's
shoulders are wide and a woman's hips are big so that they can be
Therefore, an ideal couple comes into being when they are of one mind
to live for the sake of the other. From this point of view, ideal,
happy and good people are those who live for the sake of others. This
is the very principle of creation, of which humankind is still
The husband should be able to sacrifice his life for the sake of his
wife and the wife should be able to sacrifice her life for the sake of
her husband. Such a couple is related to and protected by God's direct
dominion of love, so it is impossible for them to fall.
True parents live and die for the sake of their children because love
is established between them. Likewise, a husband and wife of true love
and of true happiness are one in love, and they each live for the sake
of the other. This is an ideal couple.
In the secular family, when a husband earns money, power is produced.
The money earned by the husband is the source to energize the wife and
the husband gets energy by looking at his energized wife. That's why
they are anxious and their relationship is apt to be broken when the
husband doesn't earn money.
The true husband and wife should center upon God's love.
The bride and bridegroom should center upon the original love of God,
not upon money, authority or fame.
You are to develop yourself gradually, centering upon love. While the
husband loves the wife and the wife lives for the sake of the husband,
they are to establish a family that loves God.
What is the ideal couple of which the Unification Church talks? They
are the couple which can substantiate the utmost art. The love of a
husband and wife is the masterpiece of all art works. It is the best
literature and it should be the substance of literature.
The husband should look the best in the wife's eyes and the wife
should look the best in the husband's eyes. The bond of first love is
the best bond. It doesn't matter what others say. It is impossible to
buy it with billions of dollars. How beautiful it is to possess such a
world of love eternally!
The wife should follow and serve her husband well. This is not
supposed to appear just in literature or movies. You should live it in
reality. The ideal of history and the ideal of culture have been
wrecked, so Father has been creating a new history in order to create
the ideal culture.
Until when do you want to love your spouse? How would you feel if the
answer came, "Until our youth is over" ? We want our spouse to love us
until death and even eternally. Eternity represents the whole
centering upon the future. To love until death is to love sacrificing
everything. "Eternally" means "completely," and "until death" means
After marriage, sisters will ask their husbands if they like them and
how much they like them. They want to hear their husbands say that
they love them giving everything, wholeheartedly. The same is true for
men. It is inevitable. It is the way of God's harmony.
A man should die if he cannot control a woman, but it doesn't mean
that man is to neglect woman. It doesn't work to claim and to present
your one-sided way of love. Man and woman should examine each other
forever. If your life is not sanctified and your family is not
restored, God cannot claim your couple as His.
The dutiful son's mind is unchanging and it goes straight to his
parents; and the loyal subject's mind goes straight to his king.
Likewise, the saint is the one whose mind is unchanging and goes
straight to God. If your mind is unchanging even at the moment of
death, you are a dutiful son, a loyal subject and a saint.
In this view, if a couple wants to be a true husband and wife, the
wife's mind should be able to go straight to the husband and the
husband's mind should be able to go straight to the wife. That's why
the Unification Church disciplines the mind to go straight to God
regardless of whether one is Occidental or Oriental. Therefore, the
mind of western members and of eastern members in the Unification
Church is exactly the same toward Father.
The husband is precious to his wife and the wife is precious to her
husband. They meet in the presence of the heavenly law; their meeting
is not caused by themselves. If we keep our integrity in relation to
God, we can break through and advance upon our way.
An ideal husband and wife encourage each other to work for the Will,
God, and the world.
You must be a luminous couple, like the sun and the full moon in the
principled orbit, not like the sun or the moon covered with dark
clouds in a dark cosmos.
Heaven is looking for a couple which can represent heaven and earth
and whose heart is filled with passionate love.
Create a record of love until you meet Father again. You should rear
your children in the atmosphere of such conjugal love.
You should be a couple of parental heart which can be God's fence.
Economic difficulties cannot crack the affinity of husband and wife.
Educational background cannot blur conjugal love. Some wife may think
that her husband should study a certain field more, but Father doesn't
5. CONJUGAL LOVE
Conjugal love is the oneness of the love of man and the love of woman.
Conjugal love is to become one with children's love centering upon
parental love and then it can become one with God's love. God's love
will dwell where the origin of perfect conjugal love is established.
When a man and a woman are about to explode in love on the foundation
of loving God and humankind, God and the universe can claim and
possess their family. Where does the root of love exist? It doesn't
exist within you. God's love is the origin.
Doves love each other sounding "coo, coo." What about you couples?
When people who are in deep love meet each other, the sound will be
much bigger than that of thunder.
If we have strong love centered upon God, opposition and persecution
from the world will be something interesting to play with. "First
love" possesses enormous power, like dynamite. Did Adam and Eve live
together without getting married, as is the practice of the young
people in this age? True love is the first, the last and the eternal.
The mind to pursue such strong idealistic love becomes the driving
force to overcome all difficulties. We can win over anything -- not
only Satan -- when we are in love.
To fall is to lose the center of vertical love and horizontal love.
That's why conjugal love in the fallen world is so unstable. Conjugal
love these days can be turned around 180 degrees by one word. That is
the fallen reality. That shows that people don't know where conjugal
love should aim. The reason that the world is heading toward
destruction is that the order of conjugal love has broken apart.
True love means to love in complete oneness of body, heart and blood
lineage. Who can love like that? Only the husband and wife can. In
this ideal, is there any taste of life when one is apart from one's
One's spouse is the most lovely object in the world. The relationship
between a couple is just like an echo. Your spouse will sound and
behave according to how you sound and behave.
In love, a man doesn't reject a woman even while she is plunging into
the depth of his heart. A man likes such a woman. All barriers are
broken when one sacrifices and invests everything for the sake of
God wants a couple to love each other passionately. In order not to
leak any love, which means to love 100%, virgin maidens and bachelors
are warned not to touch each other's hands before marriage.
When you enter your married life after keeping your virginity, you
will be able to love wholeheartedly. Even though a couple is
physically far apart, they will find themselves moving toward each
other automatically and unconsciously.
Our mind and body are in contradiction. To correct this, first of all,
the body in the position of object should be one with the mind in the
position of subject. Then we should make the reciprocal base for God
to dwell in our mind, which is taking subject position united with the
body as object. When a man and a woman who have accomplished this
receive the Blessing and live giving and receiving perfect love in
joy, they will look like flowers in full bloom.
All the harmonized outcomes generated from such loving couples will be
like beautiful fragrance to God. God has always longed to live with
such beautiful flowers and in such fragrance. God can dwell only in
the love of a husband and wife; all things and the universe should be
harmonized centering upon that love. The Unification Church is the
place for teaching this content.
God's favorite melody is the joyous laughing of a couple in love. When
a couple lives with the mind to embrace the whole universe, laughter
is produced automatically. Isn't the loving life of a such a couple a
beautiful flower in God's sight? This is not a mere ideal or something
abstract. I am talking about the original world.
Looking at a mountain, a couple asks, "For whom does this mountain
exist?" Their answer is, "It exists for me at the same time as for
you." A couple is like this. The way for a couple to be one is for
them to accomplish the purpose of the universe, regarding that purpose
to be the most significant aspect of life.
A couple speaks centered upon mind, personality and love. They are in
the same boat, aren't they? When a country-bred lady gets married to a
Cabinet minister, people bow down to her as the wife of a Cabinet
minister even if she didn't graduate from elementary school. Husband
and wife are to go the same way. Within a couple, the wife's love is
the husband's love and the husband's love is the wife's love.
The laughter of a husband and wife who are intoxicated in love is
relative. The man opens his eyes wide and the woman gently closes her
eyes when they laugh. When the husband's eyes get bigger and the
wife's eyes get smaller, they become more intoxicated in love.
A couple shouldn't unilaterally desire their spouse's face to remain
in a fixed shape. If they remain fixed, each will become really tired
of looking at the other. When you look at your spouse with a joyful
heart, he or she will look joyful; and when you look at your spouse
with a beautiful heart, he or she will look beautiful. Feel your
spouse's face anew with every new stimulation.
A husband and wife are happy when they give and receive love with each
other. If a man strikes a woman with his fist using physical power,
that couple cannot be happy at all. When a man energetically embraces
and loves a woman, the woman will feel true happiness. This love
cannot be accomplished by energy alone; neither can it be fulfilled by
When a man confirms his loving heart with physical power, a woman
feels complete happiness, and when the woman returns love both
physically and spiritually to the man, they can become a truly happy
Human beings always need stimulation. Happiness cannot be established
without stimulation. Whenever we are hungry, rice tastes so good and
fresh. We can eat the same meal every day with the same relish.
Likewise, love always should be fresh and new. The husband and the
wife should miss each other more and more, day by day. In order to
feel that way we have to research ourselves and God.
What is our favorite thing to do? Is it eating? We feel good when we
eat, but it is temporary. If we are full, we can't eat more, even
though we are offered the most delicious dishes.
But we are never satiated with our lover. The more we see the lover,
the more we miss him or her. In this way, lovers make a circle of
love. Unification takes place right there.
Prior to marriage, a girl doesn't feel the necessity of a man. But
once she gets caught by love in married life, she cannot bear to be
without him. Owing to love, she realizes that her husband is much more
precious than herself.
True joyfulness can be generated in a family only if they center their
love upon God and they can see the joyous God. Originally, making love
is not something of which to be ashamed. It is supposed to be the
noblest, holiest and most beautiful thing. Because the human ancestors
committed a sin of love, the history of love has flowed in a shameful
Who could see Adam and Eve dancing naked in the Garden of Eden? Should
we worry if a couple dances naked in their private room? Society
rightly accuses them if they do so in front of others. But who cares
if a husband and a wife dance naked or do whatever they want?
Therefore, the blessed couple may dance naked in their room. Nobody
can accuse whatever happens between a husband and a wife.
Even though there arc so many men and women in the world, you should
be able to think that there exist only you and your spouse. It is the
principle that you totally invest yourself in your spouse alone.
The value of love lies in longing. Your spouse will be happy to pour
out his or her love to you only if you ask for love opening your mouth
and your eyes as much as you can -- in other words, only if you
actively initiate love. Otherwise, your spouse will run away. How bad
would you feel if your spouse were passive and not serious in love? Do
you want to be closer to your lover or to be far away from your lover?
We always want to be together with our lover because we feel good when
we are together. We feel good when we are together because everything
When expressing love to a partner, it would be better to do it
silently than to do it loudly shouting, "I love you." Deep love kept
silently in the heart is very precious.
Occidental love is active whereas Oriental love is internal. The waves
are high in the shallow water and gentle in the deep water. The waves
of love also get quieter in depth. In this sense, invisible love is
more precious than visible love. If there is one walking, visible God,
what will happen? All the nations will fight with one another to
possess this limited God within their boundaries. But fortunately,
that which is precious is invisible and that which is invisible is
precious. God is precious because He dwells in our invisible mind.
Because He is inside our mind, nobody can steal God from us.
The invisible love is the greatest among all kinds of love. It would
be no fun at all if love were visible. Since love is invisible, it can
be the highest, widest and deepest. Some say love is like the Rocky
Mountains or like the Niagara Falls. Those are correct similes. The
invisible God is precious because invisible love is precious. It is
true that we have to enter the state of the complete absence of ego in
order to find God. God lives deeply and quietly in the invisible world
rather than in the visible world where we live.
American love looks very hot but it is actually lukewarm. The American
couples kiss each other every morning; it is like a fly touching on
the skin a little and flying away. Look at Oriental couples. The
husband and the wife stare at each other before kissing and they both
drop their head slightly due to shyness. It is a really beautiful
scene, comparable to one of the great masterpieces. It is also a sweet
and mysterious scene when a wife carries her husband's suitcase with
loving heart in order to see him off when he leaves for a business
trip. But most American women don't even turn their heads or go out of
the room to see their husbands off. Therefore, Orientals who are aware
of the Western life style don't want to get married to an American
The conversation of a loving couple is much more beautiful than any
poem or any picture in the world. How beautiful words are, such as
"between lovers," "between ourselves," or "you and me"!
When God blesses human beings, He creates the environment for the
couple to be happy. The couples who enter the door of such blessing
don't fight with each other right away. After entering the door of
love, they are busy exchanging whispers such as, "I've been waiting to
meet you for a long time. My life will bloom with the flowers of value
through you. I was born to love you and waited to love you until now."
There is nothing sweeter than the confidential talk of love.
The married couple's whispering of love is the most effective
refrigerant to cool off all the fatigue and the hatred in the world. A
couple shouldn't demand love forcibly from each other. Love is
natural, so the confidential talk of love is soft and beautiful.
The wife after knowing love is stimulated to take a nap in the
husband's bosom. That's because she gets addicted to this happiness
and cannot control her heart. Prior to marriage, the man looks creepy
and scary, but the woman's heart changes rapidly after marriage. She
will do whatever it takes to be with her husband as much as she can
be. For example, she pushes her husband to come home for lunch.
Likewise, a man after knowing love wants to sleep on his wife's lap
whenever he finds leisure time, so he rushes right home at a coffee
break or at lunch time. After marriage, he can do whatever the wife
wants without a moment's hesitation -- even things that he formerly
considered totally belonging to women. This is the typical change
which takes place in a married couple.
When a man and a woman meet through God as their mediator, how do they
express their love? Looking at the developmental process of love, love
is expressed first by the mouth, second by the breasts and third by
the sexual organ. Before making love, a woman hides her mouth due to
shyness because love starts from kissing.
As love matures, sons and daughters are born as the fruit of love. For
woman, her sexual organ is the holy place of love and only the husband
has the key to the door of love. If the husband has two keys to open
the holy place of love, he is Satan. The woman's holy place is to be
opened only by her husband's key. If it can be opened by any other
key, the woman is Satan.
When the husband opens the wife's holy place with his key of love, the
most precious and valuable children are to be born. The children are
the crystals of love. Through giving birth to a child, human beings
can experience God's heart of having created Adam and Eve.
Because the baby is the incarnation of the parents, being composed of
the blood, flesh and love of the parents, it looks lovely and cute all
the time. It doesn't matter if the child has a runny nose or is
urinating or defecating. Love is soaked with those actions. If the
couple's relationship is created by an extremely strong force of love,
no matter what the spouses do, every action looks joyful and lovely.
If a woman complains about her husband's body smell or if a man
dislikes his wife's gestures, we can tell that there is no perfect
love established between the couple. Such couples relate centering
upon their own advantage.
6. THE DESTINY OF A COUPLE
What is marriage? It is to set one's sights upon a common destiny as a
couple. It is to pursue the dual destiny, overcoming the individual
destiny. Once a man and a woman are bound to one common destiny
through marriage, they cannot freely change it by their will.
A man is bound to a man's destiny because he is born as a man; a woman
is bound to a woman's destiny because she is born as a woman. No one
can deviate from this; there is nothing that we can do about this
destiny. Therefore, it is wise for us to follow the given orbit of
Once you are married, you cannot do whatever you like. You are to
follow the destiny of your family at the risk of your life.
When we extend the trajectory of the heartistic road that a man and a
woman are to go, it converges in oneness, focused upon God's
principled road. That is the ideal point of the settlement of family
love, generated by the oneness of man and woman. At first, a man and a
woman individually are to find the focal point in which they can
settle themselves down in God's heart; then they as a couple should
find the settling point of family love by extending the individual
Beginning with the very moment of love, you are one, not two any more.
You cannot behave individually but should collectively take
responsibility for everything.
A husband and a wife are a pair. Everybody's fortune is as different
as everybody's face is different. The destiny of every life course is
different. Even though a husband's fortune is bad, it can be changed
to the good if the wife's fortune is good. The wife's bad fortune also
can be made better by the good fortune of her husband. Therefore, the
destiny of a couple is like leveling the land, raising up the valleys
and bringing down the mountains. On that fertile ground, the couple
can plant trees or plow fields with their common ideal. They can push
ahead all varieties of plans on their land. Thinking in this manner,
you should not unite centering upon your spouse's external looks. What
is at stake in marriage is something very fearful.
When a marriage is not well arranged or accomplished, either the man
dies or the woman dies, or both of them die at the same time. Many
times we can see such phenomena. This principle functions even in the
place of which you are not aware. The prosperity of your generation
does not guarantee the prosperity of your future generations. A
minimum of three to seven generations should be settled centered upon
God. Your spouse may seem unfit for you to your human eyes, but you
will realize the truth after making effort to live together for more
than three years. Father is teaching about history from the aspect of
tradition, so you couples should endeavor to become one.
You are in the same position as Jesus and the Holy Spirit. When you
become one centered upon God and try saving others' lives in tears,
multiplication will surely take place. Research whether or not this is
true. If it does not work this way, my words are a lie. You should be
completely one at the risk of your life for the sake of the glory of
God's will and of your descendants, and you should establish the
foundation upon which you can have give and take with God. When you
completely engage in this give and take action, procreation takes
place. This is the Principle. Practice this principled life in your
substantial household. Because it has not been practiced in our daily
lives, we have been stagnating.
Unless you accomplish relational love first, you cannot reach the
absolute love of the subject. This destiny was given human beings in
the original creation, so when you cannot accomplish the purpose of
love, you are bound to bring about a rupture.
The husband's mind and body shouldn't change. Once he promises
something, he must keep his promise forever. Otherwise he will be
judged in the spirit world not by God, but by his wife. The same
applies to the wife. The perfect person is the one who accomplishes
oneness of mind and body, oneness with God, and oneness with their
There is only one love.
There is only one heartistic standard for a couple to establish.
The couple's mind and body should be one forever.
Love is eternal. It is not two but one. Once a man and a woman are
bound in love, they are to live one hundred years on earth and
eternally in the spirit world. When the two separate physical bodies
become one centering upon God and establish the four position
foundation of love, the ideal world will be formed. False love cannot
invade there, and only true love will dwell there.
Some of the blessed couples may complain about their spouses. They are
the ones who do not know God's sorrowful path, which has headed toward
the establishment of the Kingdom of Heaven in the future. God knows
the difference in standard between you and your spouse. When you keep
your heart grateful to God, even though your spouse is not satisfied
with you, He will bless you abundantly in the near future. The
grateful heart is the absolute condition for receiving God's blessing.
We must be the ones with such heart.
During the first three years of marriage, you have a hard time
engrafting to your spouse because your family background, habits and
etiquette are totally different from your spouse's. They do not fit
each other, but you must make a deliberate effort to make them fit.
The wife should be obedient to and supportive of her husband. Of
course, it is the husband's responsibility to increase his wife's
willingness to do that. The husband should teach the wife how the
Principle works. That's why Father thinks that the first three years
of married life is the period to discipline the couple to be united
with God's will. It takes at least three years for a couple to be one
centering upon God.
Give birth to a child after being a parent without any trace of shame,
according to God's will and the Principle. Such a family life is the
It is not easy to play the role of a parent; neither is it easy to
play the role of a husband or a wife. You have to inherit the
tradition of the Unification Church.
Everything that a woman has belongs to others. Therefore, a woman has
the responsibility to keep others' belongings well. Think of the
woman's breasts, hips and sexual organs! None of them are for a
A woman is in the position of a guest, an errand girl and a servant.
She enters the other's house as a servant, goes through the course of
an errand girl for her husband and parents-in-law, and finally becomes
a queen -- the most precious guest. Originally, a woman's voice should
sound softer than the voice of an average man. Her voice should be
like the whispers of love.
In an Oriental family, the husband even hits his wife to correct her
bad habits. An American woman divorces right away if she gets even one
fist from her husband, doesn't she? What kind of love is that, which
can be abandoned because of one blow? If she is slapped by her
husband, a woman with true love weeps, holding her husband's hands.
What can you do with love so shallow that it runs away because of one
slap? True love makes you risk your life. A woman of true love doesn't
abandon her husband even though he does this. I want to make you such
a woman. But you know it is really not good for a husband to hit his
What kind of woman do you want to be ? Do you want to be the kind of
woman who divorces after being slapped by her husband? Don't you all
want to be the women of true love, who can love sacrificing their
lives in spite of your husband's misbehavior? Raise your hand if you
want to be such a woman. All of the American men want to get married
to you if you are such a woman.
What kind of bond do we have? We have the bond which will avenge God's
In order to make a bond of life, a man and a woman should march
forward toward world peace. Peace cannot be achieved by only a man or
only a woman. It is to be accomplished by the unified power of a man
and woman. The way to achieve unity and peace is to rush right into
the center. The driving force to rush into the center is the power of
love. When your object appears, your mind automatically is to be
stimulated to love.
When you are in suffocating agony, nobody can help you get out of that
state. Even God cannot do anything for you. But how precious it is to
have a horizontal partner who can understand your heart! The partner's
shortcomings can be the condition for you to be grateful to God and to
mitigate God's burden. When your partner comes up short in every held
of life, it can be a good condition for you to show yourself in front
Individual destruction is acceptable but the family shouldn't be
destroyed. The wife is the most needed person in the world for her
husband and the husband is the most needed person in the world for his
wife. You should be each other's walking stick, advising each other.
Whether your partner is good or bad, he or she is your partner. When a
husband faces the fate of death, so does his wife. The wife who curses
her husband when he is on the verge of death will surely perish. The
same applies to the husband.
The subject or object who lives for the sake of his or her partner
never perishes. When there is a perfect subject who lives for the sake
of others, a perfect object is bound to appear. When there is a
perfect object who practices life for the sake of others, a perfect
subject will definitely appear. Even though the partner doesn't appear
right away, if you don't give up until the end, he or she definitely
will come. You have to know this point very clearly. You shouldn't
give things up so easily after trying just several days. Once you
start something, your mind should determine to persist until death. If
you cannot get the direct result in your lifetime, your mind should
believe that it will surely come in the following generations. Waiting
for generation after generation is not bad, if it is the result of
God's plan to give you the worldwide blessing. God will think, "You
are a very patient tribe, so wait for ten or twenty generations more.
I'll pour the worldwide, historical blessing upon your descendants."
Due to the fall, human beings lost God's love. Without God's love, we
have been making human relationships. That's why, even though the
original mind is yearning for true love, there is no true love. The
false love generated without God's intervention is temporary, covering
only the physical life.
The couple happily married on earth may separate when they enter the
spirit world. They will surely be separated if their love did not
originate in God. The couples who started their love relationship and
their family life centering upon God's love will never be separated.
7. WHY ARE WE SAD WHEN OUR LOVED ONE DIES?
Why do we feel sad when our loved one dies? When our loved one dies,
we feel it instantaneously because of the way the power which fills
the universe functions. The more love enters us, the more we feel this
universal power centering upon our vertical relationship with God. But
when our loved one dies, this power leaves us and we feel the absence
of the power right away.
This is bitter. We are to be perfectly good entities found acceptable
but we become incomplete due to the absence of our loved one. Our life
pursues perfection. But when we carry imperfect factors, the power of
the universe drives us out. That results in pain. You should know this
It is agonizing and painful to disappear from the earth. To feel
somewhat better without a husband violates the Principle -- the
universal law. That's why a wife wants to die when her husband dies.
When we fit ourselves in harmony with all the relative positions,
When your husband or your wife dies, you feel sad. The principle of
the universe is to form a four position foundation centering upon God,
completing the three stages of parents, husband and wife, and
children. When we are banished from the Principle, we feel sad. The
formula is to create the vertical and the horizontal world centering
upon the three stages of God, Adam, and Eve. The horizontal world is
formed through the substantiation of Adam, Eve, and their children.
The horizontal world is to appear and expand naturally through the
extension of Adam and Eve's family. The horizontal standard of the
body is children and the horizontal standard of the mind is the spirit
world. The two should be one. God can dwell right there, in both the
spirit world and the physical world. This leads to the establishment
of the Kingdom of Heaven on earth.
Why does the husband shed tears when his wife dies? Because the way to
give birth to children, fulfilling the third purpose, is broken.
Therefore, he feels sad. Without accomplishing the third purpose, he
cannot survive. There are positive (+) electricity and negative (-)
electricity. If one of them disappears, the remaining one cannot
function at all. The same applies to human life.
Can we really be happy living alone? When one half of a couple dies,
the partner cries bitterly. Can a man alone prepare the way of life?
Why do we become miserable without a partner? It is because we cannot
fulfill the law of the universe. The motives and components which make
for happiness are determined by the law of the universe -- the pair
system. Feeling sad means we are deviating from the law. The law of
the universe does not correspond with sadness. What does feeling happy
or joyful mean? It means that the universe welcomes you. Feeling sad
is the result of being banished from the world. Joy and sadness are
distinguished in this manner.
When the husband of a newly married couple living in a complete
oneness suddenly dies, can the wife alone find the lost love? Can she
alone recover her husband's love? The only way to restore the lost
love is through the resurrection of the husband.
When a woman lives alone without a husband, anyone is apt to tempt
her, even if she lives in a good neighborhood. That's why a woman
needs her husband, even though he doesn't earn enough money to make a
The son of filial piety feels unspeakable sadness when his parent
dies; so do the parents who lose their children. The same applies in
the case of losing our spouses. Our descendants feel the same amount
of sadness when we die. This principle is unchanging.
Why does a woman cry when she loses her husband? It is not just due to
the general reason that she misses him. Love needs four directions,
and it should relate to "front and rear" and "left and right" to form
a sphere. The husband is to accomplish the four directions of love in
a "left and right" relationship with the wife. When this horizontal
pair disappears, the universe cannot protect her and this state of
being at risk leads to pain.
Why do we feel pain when we are sick? The blockage of the way of give
and take is manifested as pain. That's how we get sick.
8. THE COOPERATION OF TRUE HUSBAND AND WIFE
A wife shouldn't think that she fulfills her responsibility by just
preparing a meal when her husband comes home from work. The most
important thing is to share a time of confidential talk of love at the
dinner table. If she comforts her husband's hard work of the day with
the whispering sound that she had in their first meeting, his fatigue
will fade away and their conjugal love will become deeper.
When Father, verging on seventy years old, wants to go out to the
ocean, Mother prepares all his equipment with her whole heart. She
even prepares the supplies needed in case he stays out overnight and
prays for the accomplishment of Father's will. What a beautiful helper
and supporter she is!
Father many times feels sorry for Mother in her mission. As a woman in
her prime of life, she must desire to do many things. When Mother
sleeps in fatigue, I offer a big bow to her in tears. Such heart is
necessary. The room which is filled with flowers in full bloom and
fragrance is a happy room. God dwells in such fragrance of flowers.
When her husband goes to bed right after work, snoring loudly without
eating dinner and without saying anything, a wife should be able to
hear, above the noise of his snoring, the sound of tears from her
tingling heart. Father's wish is to see that kind of family. If I
cannot see such a family, my suffering will be in vain. All of you
should know this.
People must live together. For what? For a certain purpose. In order
to feel love in living, we should live together. Every existence,
regardless of being man or woman, has the same purpose. Man and woman
should not move according to different purposes. They are to become
one. When a husband works outside, his wife should work inside. Even
though their bodies are different, their minds should be the same.
When the husband goes out to look around his assigned area, the wife
shouldn't act like, "See you later. I've got to sleep now. I'm so
tired." Until her husband comes back from his tour, her heart should
make the same effort he is making. Children also should wait until
their father comes back from the mission area and they have to pray
for their parents' well-being. Something absolutely inseparable should
exist between them. That is the fortune of heaven and earth, the
fundamental form centering upon universal love. If it breaks, there
will be nothing but despair.
Women in the Unification Church should clearly know that man is
subject and woman is object. On the foundation of their oneness, they
as a union can serve their new subject. In other words, their union
becomes the object in order to make a love relationship with God. Love
does not come unless there is a subject-object relationship. Is man
plus or minus? (Plus.) What about woman? Is woman plus or minus?
(Plus.) You answered both sides are plus; that's why you just want to
receive love instead of giving. When man wants to give to woman and
woman wants to give to man in a perfect plus and minus relationship,
their love will circulate smoothly. The sickness of American women is
due to the selfish desire just to receive love from the husband. The
master of the American family is woman. Men are overpowered by women
in the family. The man dresses the woman instead of the woman dressing
the man. It is a total inversion. When the husband comes home from
work, the wife who has spent idle time at home commands the man to do
things. If the wife greets her husband with a joyful, welcoming heart
and invites him to eat right away, happiness dwells with the family.
The wife should make her husband successful; that is to say that she
should be his great supporter. Be the perfect man in substance, heart
and living. The place where God's love blossoms is the family.
In order for a man to be successful, his wife should be excellent. Now
is the time for women to be open to God's fortune. It is the time for
the miserable women to be happy. Because Father clarifies things with
Principle, women are happy. As long as you are born as a woman in this
precious time, you should be the wife of the bold soldier representing
Women should go the way of woman in response to the heavenly law. You
should be able to die if your husband asks you to die together with
him. You will live together in the spirit world even though you die
here. There will be a way for liberation as long as you are absolutely
obedient to your husband's order. Within the fallen world, the way of
liberation will always remain for those who observe the law of
absolute obedience to the principled morality.
Even though you are so extremely beautiful and capable that you can
lead a comfortable life on your own, you should follow your husband
regardless of any suffering as long as he is centered upon God. No
matter how much you are persecuted, if you can bear a child who can
love God and the universe and can control the world, you should be
able to endure until the end of the world. Even though you've got the
ugliest man in the world, if God dwells in your family and you and
your husband are devoted totally to Him, a saint will appear through
your blood lineage. If you offer the sacrifice of three generations
with the utmost sincerity to God, a saint will surely appear in your
family. You should think that your husband represents all the husbands
of the world. When you give birth to a child in accordance with this
principle, he or she will be a great figure.
When you treat your husband as a saint and recognize him as the
representative of the Lord, you will be able to sacrifice your life
for his sake. On that foundation, a great figure who can restore the
nation and the world will be born.
God must love woman more than man. Man is like God's body and woman is
in the position of his object. Woman, who was created at the last
moment as the utmost masterpiece, is in the position to receive more
love from God and eventually she is to be a mother. Children in
general also prefer their mothers.
Father thinks of something in the far distance and Mother thinks of
things close at hand. Woman is the realist. Raising up children is a
big job. When a woman is pregnant, she loses her taste for food, and
suffers. Because she suffers, God acknowledges her. Why does God make
a pregnant woman lose her appetite? If his wife doesn't lose her taste
for food, the man will be indifferent even though she is pregnant. A
woman also grabs God's attention more when she is pregnant.
Because women have to go through so many difficulties, such as the
period of pregnancy and delivery, God gives deeper love to them. Why
did God make it so difficult? If the process of bearing a child were
easy, she wouldn't understand love. When she gives birth in suffering,
she will cherish her baby and will be able to feel God's heart. In
this respect, woman is created as God's object of love. In bearing a
child, a woman gets to know parental love, husband's love and child's
love. Woman is so precious because she, more than man, is connected to
Father cannot compete with Mother in loving a child. Because the
mother pours out power more than anyone else and suffers more than
anyone else in bearing a child, she more than anyone else loves the
In this respect, woman occupies the eminent and precious position in
the realm of emotion. No matter how much the father loves his baby, he
doesn't know love as much as the mother does. Therefore, women will go
to the Kingdom of Heaven of heart. Understanding this, it is not too
bad to be born as a woman. God is fair.
Woman should make the fragrance of love spread out to the far distance
like the morning-glory flower.
Even though a husband tells his wife not to intervene in his business,
should she not intervene at all? A wife can stand as equal in position
to her husband. If the husband is absent, his wife should be able to
A wife shouldn't be indebted to her husband.
In settling a family, the woman's role is vital. She should do an
A wife should have the attitude to accept her husband's opinion 100%.
She should create so strong an internal bond to her husband that she
accepts his actions 100% as well. She should go east when husband
orders her to go. If a woman doesn't follow where her husband goes,
she is not a wife at all.
You should think carefully what to say to your bridegroom at the first
moment you offer your life to him. A sister who is determined to be
completely obedient to her husband with such a serious heart will
surely receive his love. Have you thought about that? The wife should
be the person who can be responsive for the sake of her husband. Such
a quality is necessary.
Your ears should be able to go over the rugged mountains. How will you
do if you are matched to a man who curses you every day? You should be
able to say to the husband who is cursing you right after breakfast,
"Please wait and curse me after eating lunch," and at lunch time,
"Curse me only after finishing dinner." If he continues after dinner,
you should be able to say "Please sleep first and curse me later."
Then Satan will go away in forty days because there's no fun in what
he is doing.
You are not supposed to expect only good things. Can you bathe in the
sun 24 hours? No. You need the night, don't you? It is Principle that
the high is followed by the low.
A wife shouldn't be sad because she cannot wear nice clothes or
because her household is poor. Your husband already knows your heart.
Deep love and priceless treasures are hidden in his heart of feeling
sorry for you.
I want to advise wives to awaken their husbands from sleeping,
accusing them, "Why do you always sleep?"
Wives want their husband's happiness more than their own because it
determines their mutual relationship. Woman is born to welcome man and
man is born to welcome woman.
You should feel the family standard keenly. Man is subject and he
should stand in the center. The subject should stand in the position
of subject, not that of object. The center should be protected and it
shouldn't be at an odd angle. He is in the position representing God.
Motive and cause start from the subject. Happiness and joy originate
from the subject. The man is responsible if there is family discord.
The responsibility for the fall is assigned to God first, to Jesus
second, and to the Holy Spirit third.
When the ideal world is established, man and woman must become equal.
Then who is to be the subject? Equality is possible when we eternally
take absolute responsibility. The subject doesn't press the object
hard to take responsibility. After fulfilling his responsibility as a
subject, he can call the object to account. God doesn't call human
beings to account until they become perfect. In other words, He is
tolerant until the perfection of human beings.
In that respect, if man is subject, he should be responsible for
everything. The representative who can inherit all the
responsibilities and who can fulfill the public commitment becomes the
Man has an active and conquering nature.
Man has to work. What kind of work? He has to pioneer something. Human
beings are called the Lords of creation. The world "Lord" sounds as if
it refers to a man, doesn't it? How would you feel if a little
beardless woman with little fist and slender face stood up shouting,
"I am the Lord of all creation?" Think about it. No matter how many
times she shouted, her voice would sound feminine. What if a man with
a somewhat thick voice shouted, "I am the Lord of all creation." How
would you feel? Even all the women would agree with his claim after
hearing his voice.
When men are fighting, if a woman tries to intervene, saying, "Go
away," how do you feel? But when a man with his fist clenched firmly
says, "Hey! Beat it; get outta here," at least it sounds authentic.
In this view, it is better for man to take the first position as the
"Lord." The Lord is supposed to be different from others; he is
supposed to carry at least one more item than the other creature. Man
carries one more item than woman: his moustache. The moustache makes
man qualified as the "Lord." Heavenly Father is truly mathematical.