Blaming others versus taking responsibility

Damian J. Anderson
Friday 25 February 2005

Here we have a situation. Gordon Muir has for some time now been accusing the Unification Church of wrongdoing. My understanding is as follows, and he is welcome to correct me. He says that he joined the Unification Church in Scotland in 1985. The person who introduced him to the church was Stewart Webster. Gordon believes that he was a good and faithful member, did what was asked, and expected to be matched with a wife and married in the church. However, for whatever reason, this did not happen, and now he is filled with anger and resentment and is waging an ongoing campaign of threatening letters and verbal assaults and threats against church members, on the Internet and by phone and regular mail.

He somehow still believes that Rev. Moon is the Messiah, but he cannot trust the church members. He believes that they routinely lie to people, and that is his ongoing accusation.

Gordon, as long as you continue to blame others, you are stuck. As I told you before, the character of the fallen archangel Satan is to blame others. He will not take responsibility for others, but wants to place blame and responsibility with other people. The character of a true man on the other hand, true Adam, is to take responsibility for the sins of others. Jesus did this, he took responsibility. Even though he was innocent, he was willing to take responsibility for the sins of the world.

So the question is, which one do you want to emulate? If you want to emulate Satan, then go ahead and continue to blame others. The consequence of this is that you will be unable to feel God, you will be unable to perceive your own value, you will be stuck in the mode of blame. Do you think you gain the respect of others more by complaining, or by taking responsibility? Do you think that some future wife would prefer you to be a man who blames others or one who takes responsibility? All those who criticize Rev. Moon for his perceived sins are playing the same blame game. As long as you blame others, you choose to give your power over to the person you accuse. However, when you take responsibility and ownership of a situation, then you acknowledge that you have the power to change it.

I am sorry that you feel that the people in the church lied to you. I don’t know Stewart Webster, so I am not able to judge whether he is good or bad. I believe he was doing his best, but from what you are saying, I also believe that he was unable to love you adequately to dissolve your resentment.

Again, take this back to the Lucifer versus Adam archetypal relationship, which was mirrored in the Cain and Abel relationship. You could say that Stewart Webster was in an Abel position to you and you were in the Cain position. But because he was unable to love you adequately, you rebelled against him and to this day, you hold resentment against him. What can you learn from this? Was Stewart Webster evil or was he perhaps immature? Did he really lie to you? Perhaps if you had been able to take responsibility for your life, then the things he said would come to you would have in fact occurred. Could it be that the responsibility for his words not becoming reality lie more with you than with him? If he was unable to help you overcome your resentment, then you need to find someone else who can, or perhaps you could recognize how hard it is for God to save this world when he cannot find people to heal the resentment of people such as yourself. Then cry for God, rather than crying for yourself.

We need to find people who can solve the resentment of every single human being, and even God Himself. If we cannot solve the resentment of terrorists, then we are doomed to live with their murderous rage.

Stewart represented himself as a follower of the Messiah, yet he did not love you as God loves you, so you have resentment. However, the kind of love you want is the love that gives you everything you want, rather than what you need. Before you can be qualified to have a wife, you need to overcome this character of blaming others.

It has been God’s headache that despite the fact that he sent great religious leaders into the world, very few people have lived up to the elevated standards they taught. So, the worst advertisement for Christ is often Christians, and often the worst advertisement for Rev. Moon and Unificationism is Unificationists. It would certainly be helpful for you and others if someone in the church were able to represent the teachings of our founder faithfully. But if you are truly a person of integrity, then you need to have the attitude that even if nobody else lives according to that standard, you will do it, and then show others by example and not just by precept. So, you can choose not to be a victim of others, and instead be accountable for your own actions. So do you choose victimhood or accountability? It is your choice. It is one difference between Satan and God.

When you are qualified to have a wife, women will want to be around you without your even looking for them. When you become a true man, you will attract the kind of mate that your heart longs for. But as long as you resemble that fallen archangel more than a true man, a good woman will not want to be around you. However, even when women want to be around you, still you must not choose your own wife. You must overcome that sexual temptation of the Fall of Man. That is a topic for another article, coming soon. If you want God’s blessing, then you must wait for His timing, and He will give you a woman who will allow you to have the experience of loving another, and being loved. Then you can also have children whom you can love, and who will come to love you in return. To get there, you must practice loving others, covering for their faults, taking responsibility for them, when all they can do is blame others.