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Matching the Second Generation

From Alan Jessen, Cedar Falls, IA

Hi Jim,
Thanks for the notes.  I've been meaning to send you my thoughts.  Better late than never, so here they are.  Please don't take these as criticisms.  They are not coming from that point of view at all; we are just responding, and giving gut reactions to what is being proposed. OK?
In general, Margaret and I were not as uplifted as we were from the 1st meeting content.  When we asked ourselves why, we came up with these points.
1. It seems the horse is getting out of the barn way before the gate is closed.  We haven't yet fully understood or envisioned the way this "matching / arrangement" process will or could work and yet we are accepting the fact that "the kids will have a say in who they are matched to."  What does "have a say" mean?  Until we know, lets not advertise it that way.  Kids will very easily jump all the way to thinking that they choose their own spouse.  Then we are dead, and have no vertical alternative to the western fallen culture.  Hard to put that one back in the barn.  
I say that until we have figured out the new system, or have agreement on a pilot system anyway, THE KIDS HAVE NO SAY.  TRUE LOVE WAITS until the parents (a.k.a God) have worked something out.  I don't want my children even thinking horizontally until I can give them true internal guidance on the matter - which I can't until we have worked through this process, have Father's direction, etc. etc.  So we are on hold!  period!    They have no say.  And the good thing is that they don't want any say either.  They don't want to think about it, yet.  And I bet most of the centered BC's are the same. 
2.  Internal Guidance.  If you think back to Father's guidance to us, it was pretty straightforward.  Be prepared for anybody.  Be prepared for someone ugly or fat.  Be prepared for someone completely different from you.  Another culture, opposite personality, etc.  That was it.  Surrender your concepts and realize that God has restoration in mind, not your immediate romance or happiness.  
I don't see this in the thinking being presented.  I see you talking about compatibility and personality traits, for example and a curriculum for "life education".  All this is good and OK, but without teaching a surrendering mind, I wonder how successful we will be.  Remember our motto?  World Peace Through Ideal Families. I think we need to keep the same foundation stones in place.  
I would even say that internal guidance should start with Fathers Directions from those early periods (the raw words) ........ then we can build upon it to add lessons learned, etc.  If we are truly going to be in the "matching business" and not just providing a BC dating service, we better understand that - in my opinion - it can only be based on a brokenness of spirit.  Maybe that is getting a little too far out, but you get my point. 
3. The stuff about "categories" is troubling.  We still suffer from "A" member families and "B" member families.  Who decides?  I guess it would help to understand the purpose.  I can see separating those who are sexually pure from those who have fallen, but beyond that, it seems to me it has to be an issue that comes out in "discussion" among the parties - whoever those might be - not something that is arbitrarily sorted into sections of the database or whatever.  Anyway, it is still very early.....
That is about all for now.  Thanks for investing your time.
Alan Jessen
Cedar Falls, IA                                                                    Back to Comments     Back to Home       Back to Top
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