|From Alan Jessen, Cedar Falls, IA
Thanks for the notes. I've been meaning to send you my thoughts.
Better late than never, so here they are. Please don't take these
as criticisms. They are not coming from that point of view at all;
we are just responding, and giving gut reactions to what is being proposed.
In general, Margaret and I were not as uplifted as we were from the
1st meeting content. When we asked ourselves why, we came up with
1. It seems the horse is getting out of the barn way before the gate
is closed. We haven't yet fully understood or envisioned the way
this "matching / arrangement" process will or could work and yet we are
accepting the fact that "the kids will have a say in who they are matched
to." What does "have a say" mean? Until we know, lets not advertise
it that way. Kids will very easily jump all the way to thinking that
they choose their own spouse. Then we are dead, and have no vertical
alternative to the western fallen culture. Hard to put that one back
in the barn.
I say that until we have figured out the new system, or have agreement
on a pilot system anyway, THE KIDS HAVE NO SAY. TRUE LOVE WAITS until
the parents (a.k.a God) have worked something out. I don't want my
children even thinking horizontally until I can give them true internal
guidance on the matter - which I can't until we have worked through this
process, have Father's direction, etc. etc. So we are on hold!
period! They have no say. And the good thing is
that they don't want any say either. They don't want to think about
it, yet. And I bet most of the centered BC's are the same.
2. Internal Guidance. If you think back to Father's guidance
to us, it was pretty straightforward. Be prepared for anybody.
Be prepared for someone ugly or fat. Be prepared for someone completely
different from you. Another culture, opposite personality, etc.
That was it. Surrender your concepts and realize that God has restoration
in mind, not your immediate romance or happiness.
I don't see this in the thinking being presented. I see you talking
about compatibility and personality traits, for example and a curriculum
for "life education". All this is good and OK, but without teaching
a surrendering mind, I wonder how successful we will be. Remember
our motto? World Peace Through Ideal Families. I think we need to
keep the same foundation stones in place.
I would even say that internal guidance should start with Fathers Directions
from those early periods (the raw words) ........ then we can build upon
it to add lessons learned, etc. If we are truly going to be in the
"matching business" and not just providing a BC dating service, we better
understand that - in my opinion - it can only be based on a brokenness
of spirit. Maybe that is getting a little too far out, but you get
3. The stuff about "categories" is troubling. We still suffer
from "A" member families and "B" member families. Who decides?
I guess it would help to understand the purpose. I can see separating
those who are sexually pure from those who have fallen, but beyond that,
it seems to me it has to be an issue that comes out in "discussion" among
the parties - whoever those might be - not something that is arbitrarily
sorted into sections of the database or whatever. Anyway, it is still
That is about all for now. Thanks for investing your time.
Cedar Falls, IA
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