Chapter 16
Changing Relations with Father

This morning I'd like to tell you what I felt when I first met Father, and how my mind changed while I was traveling south together with him. My first impression was that Father was a person of a different dimension. I thought he was completely different from anyone I had ever met before; I experienced a peace in my mind which I had never experienced before. I felt the same feeling that I felt towards a school teacher in an elementary school. In Korea we attend a teacher with respect -- I don't know whether it is the same here in Europe or not

Recently even in Korea this respect towards teachers is lessening amongst elementary pupils and junior high school students, through the influence of Western civilization. We had the same kind of respect towards our teachers as you have towards the saints. In those days the teachers taught and loved their students with sacrificial love as parents, and lived model lives. Can you imagine? Sometimes we had a picture of the teacher whom we respected, in our pocket. If we understand the Divine Principle well, and become a teacher of it with the same attitude as the teachers in those days, the students will surely do the same.

Father told us that if we really serve 360 houses, they will put our picture and one of True Parents on the first page of their photograph album. This is Father's word. If a teacher teaches his students with love and enthusiasm, they will come to respect him. In those days we had a testimonial dinner to show our gratitude towards the teachers at our graduation day. That's why I felt as if I had met a teacher when I met Father for the first time. To tell you the truth, I thought Father didn't go to the toilet or eat any meals; I thought he was a superman, even though I was already 18 years old. I could believe whatever Father said to me. The members, including one spiritualist surrounding Father, all looked like angels to me, regardless of their physical ages. What they were talking about was God's word to me ; so I didn't have any questions to ask, but was intent only on listening to their story.

One day when Father was in prison, one lady member was repairing a broken flower pot in the garden. She said to herself, "What if our spirit is like this broken flower pot?" I overheard it and learned a lot about our attitude towards faith.

Before Father was imprisoned, I attended church from my house and met him from a certain distance, so to speak. Sometimes I slept together with Father in the same bedding as it was too late for me to go home. It was very hot in summer and there were many bugs which fed on human blood. The spot the bug bit became so itchy and swollen. The bug was reddish brown. There were no good insect repellents 33 years ago. Around 12 or one o'clock the bugs came out. Father was already sleeping and his sleep was not disturbed at all. I was bitten here and there and irritated with itching. I couldn't sleep and wanted to move and scratch, but I couldn't because I was afraid that I might wake Father. While I was fighting with the bugs I became tired and fell asleep.

I was very happy to meet Father, but I couldn't say anything to him. When I was alone thinking of a certain problem, the problem seemed to be so big as to overwhelm me. I would think that I had to ask Father about it, but as soon as I met him the problem no longer seemed so overwhelming and I couldn't find the courage to ask Father about it. I would go home and the problem would then get bigger and bigger. Again I met Father and listened to him and the problem became smaller to the extent that I didn't know why I had thought it serious. I would then go home and start thinking and conclude that I should have asked Father. I repeated this process and came to solve the problem by myself. I met many problems but I came to solve them indirectly by listening to Father's various words as opposed to asking Father directly. I never asked Father about how to deal with serious problems. However impossible things were to understand, I could get answers step by step by observing Father's behavior.

When we traveled south I came to have a different relationship with Father. I was with him all the time. I once told Father about my faith while we were walking together. I said that I would have starved Jesus if I had been there 2,000 years ago, because I believed that the Messiah didn't feel hungry even if he didn't eat anything. Jesus would have starved to death if he had been surrounded by people who thought as I did.!

Father feels hungry when he is hungry and feels hot or cold when the weather is hot or cold. He stands in the same dimension as we do. I could understand the circumstances and heart of Jesus 2,000 years ago through Father. Another thing we must understand is that the Messiah is more sensitive to everything than we are. He feels more hungry than we do. We usually think that he feels less hungry than we do. It is the opposite. He feels several times more hungry than we do. Why? (Because he can feel other people's hunger too. ) Yes. You can understand this if you think of a parent and a child. Suppose the mother is very poor and can buy only a bottle of milk. Even though they are both hungry, the mother can't drink before her child. If there is some milk left over, she may drink it. Both are truly hungry but there is a difference between the mother's hunger and her child's. The child says he is hungry when he is hungry, but the mother doesn't say she is hungry as long as there is food for her child, even though she doesn't have anything to eat. When the mother says that she is hungry, it indicates both the mother and child are hungry.

The hunger of a child, a parent, a person governing a country, or the world are all different in content and dimension. Joy can exist on a personal, racial, national, world wide and macrocosmic level. If you cause trouble to a certain person, it means you give trouble on a personal level, but if you trouble a person who governs a nation, it means you give trouble on a national level.

I'll give you another example. It is different when you save an ordinary person from when you save a person who governs a nation. Suppose, if you save the life of an ordinary child, then his parents will thank you sincerely and reward you. What will happen if you save a prince? The king will put up a notice around the country to find you and bring you to the palace to live. Do you follow me?

However, what if you kill a prince? If you kill an ordinary person you will get punishment on a personal level; if you kill a prince, you will get national level punishment. How much will a king suffer through losing his son? As he is the person who governs a country, he will get the loneliness and resentment on a national level. Then how about the Messiah? If you make the Messiah even slightly happy, that means you give him happiness on a macrocosmic level. Then what if the opposite happens? Imagine what a big punishment the Israelites received by killing only one person, Jesus Christ. If Jesus had been an ordinary person, the punishment wouldn't have been so big, but Jesus was a person who had inherited the cosmos, the Messiah, and that's why the punishment was so severe.

Do you understand how carefully you should attend the Messiah? Please think if you attend him well or if you trouble him. As God is a God of love, He makes a punishment carry on only to the second or third generation, but good will merit many thousands of generations.

Think of a leader -- I mean a good leader -- and a member. Suppose you are the leader of 10 people. If I trouble you, who are responsible for 10 people, I give you a trouble which amounts to 10. If I trouble you who are a leader of 100 people, it means that I trouble 100 members Because of this we are told not to blame, assess or criticize an Abel positioned person. If he is a leader of 10 people, he is responsible for 10 people's worries and burdens. If you give even the smallest trouble to the Messiah, who is carrying many more worries and burdens on his shoulders, it will be magnified. But if you give him even the slightest joy, it will be magnified even more. Therefore the Messiah is even more sensitive than anyone else. I'd like you to understand this clearly.

Father sometimes exaggerates when a member has done something well. The member is embarrassed to see that Father viewed it in a favorable light. As Father is so big, any big problems look small in front of him. Have you ever had the same experience as mine? If you grow up enough as a leader, your members will have the same experience with you as I had with Father.

After Father was imprisoned many spiritualists started leaving the church, but my faith in Father wasn't affected at all. I myself sometimes wonder why. Of course I had some agitation in my mind, seeing the spiritualists and senior members who I had respected like angels stop coming to the church. But a feeling of peace was given when I was together with Father and his true word wouldn't leave my mind. So I could think of nothing except looking forward to meeting him again.

I wrote down the months and years from when Father was sentenced. When one month passed, I crossed out the number one which was the happiest moment. I was always watching the chart and looking forward to crossing out the last number which would represent the end of Father's five years' imprisonment.

Wherever I went, what Father had said remained in my mind. One day one idea touched my mind strongly: "I am still attending Father, who is in prison. Father is still keeping his faith. Then how can I change my faith? I can change my faith only after Father changes his." Therefore I couldn't change my mind. A leader shouldn't change his mind before the members do, whenever he starts any project with a promise to the members.

Among the members who pledged before Father, some left him. Even though he knew this, he still visited them; even if they opposed him, he didn't change his mind towards them. Suppose there was a person who had the merits of 10 good ancestors. After he met Father, he increased his own merits to 20. Altogether he had the merits of 30, but he left the church and started opposing Father and Heaven. Then his good merits would diminish gradually. Still, as long as he has even the smallest merit left, Father can't cut off his connection with him. If he continues opposing Father and his minus or evil points become bigger than his good points, then Father can cut off his connection without accusation.

We cut off our connection with a member who has started opposing the church. This is not good. As long as he still has the merits of goodness and loyalty left, even after subtracting the minus points, we must not cut off our relationship with him. Suppose one person became a businessman in a certain company. His father had worked hard for that company and so did he and they brought a profit of 100,000 to the company altogether. Then he started opposing the president and made a big loss. But the president can fire the businessman only after he has lost more than 100,000. Then it will cause no trouble. But usually the president fires him when he's lost only 10,000. Then the businessman has resentment: "I made a lot of money for that company, but they fired me. It's unfair." Then he usually discloses the secrets of the company to make the company go bankrupt. Do you think this is actually happening in the world? Yes or no?

We can't measure the good merits numerically, but a person must surely have good merits to have worked for God in the heartistic world. God can't cut off the relationship until the person has piled up bad points in proportion to his good merits. Do you follow me? (Not completely. ) If I put it simply: one person worked hard and he failed, but still you can't change his mission or cut off your relationship with him. You can change his mission when the amount of failures becomes larger than that of his good merits.

Father doesn't change his mind towards the members who once worked hard for him and came to oppose him later. When they do more bad than they did good, Father can cut off his relationship and no one can accuse him. I'd like to conclude today's speech here. Thank you very much.

Return to the index of the book Father's Course and Our life of Faith, a biography of Rev. Sun Myung Moon by his first disciple Rev. Won Pil Kim.