Raising Children In God's Will
by Rev. Sun Myung Moon
Section 2. Formation of the True Family and Lineage 1. A Family Needs Three Generations
Do you like a complicated thing or a simple one ? [We like a simple one.] Really, you like a simple family? [Yes] Then, Where has what I said has lead to?
I mean, let's live together with our grandfather, grandmother, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and grandchildren. Centered on what? Three generations of Formation, Growth and Completion can settle down in a family, being centered on the center. What does it mean? It means that you can love God when you love not only your father and mother but also grandparents. When you put grandfather above father and mother's position, then you can love God.
Then, why do we need a husband? Why do we need parents? Why do we need sons and daughters? It's just because we can't serve God without them. That's why we need them. It is the principal that we need to have parents, sons and daughters. Now, what does this mean? One, two, three, one, two, three..... (speaking while writing on the board) Here is the center. With an angle of 90 degrees. An angle of 90 degrees should be fit for it. These are all the same. So is the Center.
Now we understand why we need three generations. Do you need parents? [Yes] Then, do you need a husband and a wife? [Yes] You need a baby? [Yes] Why do you need them? From this, the theory must be reasonable, that we need parents, a husband and children, in order to make a relationship with God and the very good center as well.
We have to surely know why we need parents, a spouse, children. You should know that by all means. You are bound to go up and down, to the center and side, to every direction. Even grandchildren can't help going to these directions.
When you act toward your grandfather with love, then he may say, "Good, good" You know this fact? [Yes] So you should know that it is a really surprising thing that the Unification Church has trained people how to build this type of family which is centered on the original love, in order to realize the original world which has not come true yet. (128-17)
There should be parents, a husband and a wife and child in a family. Then, the family becomes a foundation of happiness. The reason that God has sought human beings is to seek His own happiness.
So in order for God to seek such a foundation of happiness, He can not achieve the ideal, if He were away from human beings. When God makes a relationship with people, then He can achieve it. Just as we feel a happiness in the family where there are all kinds of emotions and sentiments, so God can feel that in that place. (132-198)
We need to feel and face each other. Therefore, we are absolutely in need of a wife and a husband as well as the young and the old. Thus, we have made a common shape, regardless of what others say. What would our future be like, if we say we don't need the old? When you neglect the old, then the nationality of your country may disappear. You understand that? From the viewpoint of racial traditions, if you would dislike the old, you would become a traitor to your racial traits.
By the way, children deny their parents, even ethics and morality these days. It will be the Last Days when people deny ethics and morality. Our Unification Church members shouldn't do so. And we shouldn't dance to the tune of current thought. The Unification Church has to make firm human relationships, which are really positive and upright forever. Parents, children and teachers, all of them, should make relationships with others respectively. So young people by themselves can not make it perfect. Without exception, God also needs the old people in order to establish and fulfill His Will.
Therefore we must look upon the old as very important. Hereafter, you will set out to do this kind of work, centering on Rev. Moon. We need adults, sons and daughters, all members of a family in working for God. (21-120)
Is it true that a lot of grandchildren and daughters-in-law hate to see the cane which grandparents are carrying with them. Why? Does it mean that they may wish the grandparents' early death? However, good grandchildren and daughters-in-law who have a lovely mind and heart may think, 'Oh God, when the cane disappears someday, I will be drenched in tears.' Then, are they good or bad? Which one? [They are good daughters-in-law and grandchildren] What about all of you, then? You want to just manage to get along, without being serious, don't you? These people don't have the proper direction of life and can't find the center in life at all. (184-270)
These days, the basic foundation of family ethics is being shaken. So far, those who believe in religion have thought that it's not good to get married.
But we have to sing in praise of the great divinity of married. The way for a man and woman to love each other will be built through their marriage life.
Thus, they can become one, then whom are the man and the woman supposed to take after? That's God. Only when they become one, can they resemble God who made the man and the woman from His external image. Then, God can be together within them.
The power of the Universe is like this. Why does a wife cry over her husband's death? Well, we can think 'death is just death.....' He died because he would not want to eat meals? (laughing) Death!, it's just nothing but to be all over. Then, why do people cry for that? You have to know this point. When you don't have any sons and daughters, what makes you cry and be sad? The point is that you should be fully equipped with all the constituent family members. That's the basic principle of the Universe.
Therefore, we can say that the existence-power of the Universe is composed of power and will to advance the object's ideal. For this reason, they all can have give and take with each other. For instance, the South and the North can have give and take with each other, can't they? Just as the South Pole and the North Pole create give and take action, so one star and another star can do so. Nothing can exist without its counterpart. Such an ideally unified being which has perfect give and take action can deserve the support of the Universe.
It means that in order for this type of unified being to remain, a Heavenly Fortune should come around it. Then, everything cooperates for such a being. That's how the principle works. Also, we absolutely need sons and daughters. Nowadays, Western society has been filled with the way of thinking that there is no need of children. But just see if they really will not need any children later. You may understand why you need children, if you go to the spiritual world. The place where you are standing has an upside and the downside at the same time. It means that our existence is bound to pass through three numeric stages.
Everything is made up of three stages. Three stages! There should be parents, a husband and a wife, and children in these three stages. None can run counter to this Heavenly Principle. If you divide the stages into three parts, there are three stages of man and those of woman. If these are added up, three numeric stages can be formed and thus the ideal world comes true. Speaking of something ideal, it means that there must be a grandfather and a grandmother, a father and a mother, and yourselves. The family ethics of the Unification Church just originate from this ideal. (70-76)
What is Heaven? There is Heaven where one can love others just like his family members. Also it is the Heavenly people who do so. Grandfather and grandmother, mother and father, his wife, brother and sister, and children! What do these four generations mean? A family is just like a textbook where Heavenly people can experience a perfect love, the true love of the Universe. We all have to understand that a family is like a textbook that teaches you what the cornerstone of your life is. (129-98)
What is the Satan like? What is Satan? Here! Let's see what Satan is. We need to know what kind of fellow this Satan is. In other words, we should understand how in the world Satan is so bad.
Look! There is one family. How many generations usually live together in one family? [Three generations] Three generations or four generations? Which one? There are a grandfather, a father and you. They all three generations. By the way, there can be a great-grandfather. So there are four generations living together in one family. Thus, we should know that four generations can live together. Is that right? If there are over four generations in a family, There are eighty years total, when we count 20 years for one generation.
Considering it in this light, where shall the people before these generations go and live? They shall go to the spiritual world.
By how should a family on the earth live ? By money or by power? What matters is what we have to live by. [We should live by love] (124-138)
2. The Father is the Unchanging Pillar of the Family
What is an unchangeable thing? These days man and woman love each other and get married; nevertheless, the marriage is still changeable. Is the love of father and mother also changeable? Even parental love toward children may be changeable, but it may be less changeable than the other is. If we seek one thing in common which is not changeable among every changeable thing around our human world, that is mother's love. A mother loves a child more than the father does, doesn't she? Of course we should be aware that the father is the center of love. Where does the origin of love and life come from? The origin of life doesn't come from the mother. The mother can be compared to flesh and father can be like bone. After taking something from the father, then the mother can have a child. This is why we have to think of father and mother. No shape can be formed without bone.
So if there is an unchanged person in a family, that one must be the father. You may be afraid of your father, aren't you? Father is somewhat hard of access. Also he usually is inclined not to act rashly and go in an orderly way to keep his position and dignity. But the mother is not like that. Although the father makes so many turns in one place, he will keep his position like a pole held its place. Don't you think so?
Some time ago I went to ChungPyung and saw a turbine and generator turning. And I found that the shaft which connects both side-parts is very thick. It can make 450 turns in one minute. When I saw it turning, it looked as if it didn't move. In the same manner, the mother makes turns, centering on the father. Because of her turning, she can be changeable. If she goes to the East, she forms the shape of the East, if she makes turns to the West, she makes the shape of the West. In the same way, she does so, toward the South and the North.
For this reason, when we look for a person who is not changeable, that one is the grandfather. Then who do you think will be the next one? the grandmother or the father? [It's father] Well, you knew that. Who is the next, then? It's the grandson, the son of a father. All of them are male. You had better not talk about all these secret things to women, because a woman is changeable. In talking about something secret, when the mother is around them, the husband and the son may say, "Mother, could you stay out for a moment." (laughing). It indicates what oriental philosophy is.
For some important matter, it is not the father and mother but the father and son who are supposed to talk about that. Who knows if she would be false to her husband and get married again? (laughing) It might be somewhat O.K if she married a king, but what if she got married to an enemy? You don't think so? It means that you have to consult with the grandfather and father about an important matter. Why do we have to do so? That's because they are unchangeable beings. Something important requires something unchangeable. The subject which is never changeable is something eternally valuable. That's the way it is. (141-280)
What is the center of a family? That's the parents. Then why is it the parents? It's because the parents exist and live for the sake of all the members of the family. Does that mean that parents are unique beings? It means parents are the sole central beings which are absolute, unchanging and everlasting.
Now we have learned the fact that it is the parents who have such an unchangeable volume of love within themselves. There is a cloth which wraps any diamond or gold. Is the wrapping cloth valuable or not? The cloth may have an equal value to a diamond, if it is used to wrap a diamond. From this point of view, we have understood how valuable parents are. Once more, we have to keep in mind how precious the parents are who have an unchanging, limitlessly valuable love. Have you ever thought of parents in that view? The word, "unique" or unique parents, comes from this view. Parents are unique, unchanging and eternal from whom all these concepts come. That's what parents are. True or wrong? Yes, it's true. Parents can be changeable? [No]
After all, even if any revolution breaks out, we can not revolutionize love. So the origin of this love will remain for good. And such parents, as the subjects of love, must need you absolutely, continuously and permanently. (74-19)
Have parents ever been taught how to love their children? Here, ladies! You have a baby and you love it. Then, have you ever learned how to love the baby? Is there any elementary, middle, high school, or a university teaching love? Is there any need and use of a bachelor's or doctor's degree in loving a baby? No conditions are needed for this love but a perfect standard of love which everyone wants to reach. The less one feels love toward children, the more he wants to make efforts to love them, even to the extent of 100% love. Right?
A perfect thing needs nothing more to make it better and it needs no more learning for it. The perfect thing is the thing that one doesn't have to add to or subtract from any more. Accordingly, it is something unchanging and eternal. (38-227)
What in the world are parents? There may be a son who is a world champion in both physical force and brain power. And he may think his parents are a big problem in his life. Then he might want to go back on his parents and do as he likes. But why couldn't he do so? You have to know this point.
He can do as he pleases because he thinks he is the best in force and brains. Where does the origin of love come from? From yourselves? [From parents] The origin of love is not yourselves but parents. There is no result without cause. Understand that? One knows he is not the subject, from the light of love. So he shall not do as he pleases. That's why children say, "Yes, mother, yes father" in front of their parents. So when your parents say, "You may be famous and have authority in the world, but in front of your parents you should be reasonable," then the children can answer like this, "Yes, yes, yes, mother and father." Why? Because there is love between them. While parents are the subject, children are the object. Can you understand this?
It is the principle that the subject should take care of the object and the object should obey the subject. When this order is destroyed, a family will lose its value. However stupid a person may be, he was born with the original mind, he would know that this is the Heavenly principle. Therefore, no matter how powerful he may be, he has to bow toward his parents. Am I wrong? [No] (50-135)
The human world has kept fighting continually, resorting to force and knowledge. But the time hasn't come yet to have a fight of love and with love. Religious leaders say that when the Last Days come, their time will come. The power of the sword and the pen would have disappeared. The only thing that will remain is the power of love.
Such a final age of hegemony are the Last Days. One day a physically stronger elder brother comes home but can he act as the boss? That's possible or impossible? No matter how strong he may be, that's impossible. He may be a champion in the ring, but not in the family. Understand that? Is it possible? [No] Why? Because there are parents in the family. (50-135)
3. The Grandfather's Position is that of God
The grandfather is the man who has love. When husband and wife, sons and daughters or grandchildren have words with each other, grandparents with heartfelt love dissuade them from fighting, saying, "Please don't do that any more," as if they were servants. Thus they encourage their offspring, saying, "You are excellent, better than we are." You've got to know that the most serving person with love is the grandfather. When the wife grumbles for something, the husband says, "All right, honey, I will get you what you want."
Well, what is the conclusion? It is that the follower of love in a servant's position has the most surprising and greatest authority in the Universe. It is the philosophy of God, Rev. Moon and the Moonies. That's the conclusion. (135-122)
In an American family, the grandfather makes a phone call in advance before he visits his son's. Do you think it's a good thing? See, imagine there is a daughter-in-law who wants to give more to her grandparents than to her husband. How lovely she is! Then, she can inherit all things of love from her grandparents.
Well, who is the oldest grandfather in the world? [God] Right. (laughing) We learn how to love God through our love toward our physical grandfather. We can have all the lovely and secret treasures of God through this tradition. How wonderful it is! (107-329)
From this point of view, when you hear your grandfather's coughing, do you think in your mind, "Damn, the old man should go to the other world" or, "I like it" As they get older, old men don't sleep too much. Just think about that. So we'd better think, "Our grandfather is like God, protecting us without sleeping too much!" when he gets much older, his puckered lips just tell of his aging. So you have to obey absolutely what he says. Now you may know how beautiful that is. You will not have any break-ins, any fires in your house, when you are serving and living together with your grandparents. You should remember this.
What do you think they are doing without sleeping then? They pray, "May God bless my children." Through prayer, God tells them what to say to their children, "Hey son, you need to watch out, when you go out, please listen to me." "Don't go out today! Don't quarrel with others, Don't go out too far today." That's how they teach their children. (laughing)
Accordingly, do grandchildren need such grandparents or not? With love, happiness can come down to all of the grandparents, father and mother, brothers and sisters so that they can dance with their all heart. (107-327)
When parents send their children someplace, they have to get permission from the grandparents. Parents can't do as they please. Because grandparents are in the position of God. Do you understand what I am saying? From the light of the American way of thinking, it's hard to accept and understand. When parents go out somewhere, children may beg, saying, "I want to go with you." Then, it's hard to say, "No, you can't." (107-326)
4) The order in the human world.
What is the human world composed of? There is an order in the world. That is to say, there is an order among grandparents, parents and children. What matters is how well they all get along. We believe it is the best thing that all of them become unified into one.
What is the most valuable and precious thing in human beings? That is not something external, but something internal. For this reason, we ought to seek and establish a good relationship with people in the world of the object and with our inner self, good grandparents, good parents, good brothers and sisters, and a good couple. (161-314)
Teenagers these days, when are given something by their mother, they are not willing to take it. (laughing). Even some parents, in order for them to go out for fun or pleasure, let their children stay in a room tied up. Do you like such parents? In reality there are many parents like that. We've got to know that there are lots of men who are worse than animals.
Why do we, human beings, need to understand what the concept of family is? There are four types of people in the world: They are in the position of grandparents, parents, husband and wife, and children. Yes? or No? [Yes]
The concept is that a family is a textbook and the Bible is given to all the people in the world in order to lead them to be Heavenly people.
Then, who is supposed to establish the order and rank in the family? The person who serves the family more and knows the family better will be in charge of the family. This order is not against the democratic doctrine. Then, who should be the center of the family? [Grandparents] That's right. It's the grandparents. Is that wrong? [No] Why? Because they are aware of the whole. So we can say the grandfather is the king of the family. Right? As your grandfather himself feels too much old and hands over his authority to his son, then finally your father becomes the center of the family.
Later, if your father hands his authority down to you, you also can be the center of the family. This inheritance will be continuous, from grandparent to parents, from parents to children, from children to their descendants. That's how our tradition can be established. Accordingly we have to know that this tradition ought to be the principle of a family system representing the Universe.
But there has been no such God-accepting family since the fall of man. So God has made efforts to build again this ideal family by establishing religions, passing through a complicated and tough course in human history.
Seen from this historical background, the fact is that it is the Unification Church that starts the ideal family making-movement by the name of God for the first time in history. (130-269)
Just as one loves his children, parents and grandparents, so he has to love other children, parents and grandparents in his neighborhood. There we can form relationships in every direction. That's the way it is. Understand? There can't occur the Heavenly principle centered on a vertical standard of heart without forming these relationships. So I want to say, "let's put that in practice." That's why we can say that the Unification Church is building the ideal family because we are practicing it to make it come true.
Then, what do you have to do in this vertical center? You have to make it again on a horizontal level. That's what you have to do. So you can't help loving grandparents. Well, I will also become a grandfather soon. [Yes] Yes, I will be a grandfather. So will you be. It goes the same way. You are born as a son or a daughter, get married, become parents and grandparents. That's our life. That's the official course of our life. You have to accept and love these facts, otherwise you run counter to the Heavenly Principle. That's how it goes. You understand? [Yes]
Basically if we do not fix these relationships, there would be no way to put the world in order. If you go to a Western society, you may feel that the old people there are poor. You may not know how much they miss and envy Eastern customs. They might say to themselves, "The Eastern people serve their grandparents like God, always consulting with their seventy or eighty-year old parents about whatever in order to make any decision. How good it is!"
Who is the oldest grandfather? Isn't it God? Also, who is the youngest? It's also God Himself. God is older than a grandfather and younger than a baby, so in order for us to love God, we have to love the whole man. Do you understand? When it comes to age, God may be the oldest and youngest.
When you say that you love God, it should mean you have to love your neighborhood, the people around you, and even people in the spiritual world who passed away in history. That is logical. (70-152)
4. Grandparents and Grandchildren.
You may know some grandfather and grandmother who have grandchildren. But just imagine that the children might think, "Seen from your physical body, you are doomed to die at the age of eighty. I don't like old people. See the puckered face, I don't like it. Don't come close to me." Imagine how ugly the grandfather is with his sunken eyes, a withered face and a strange-looking head.
There might be persons who have received a grandfather's love and those who haven't received it. The former may say with pride, "I got grand-parental love as well as parental love." But the latter received only parental love. Which one does your mind want? Which love do you like more between the two? The love from both grandparents and parents or only the one from parents? [The one from both] Really? That's the basic foundation. (188-197)
Let me ask you something, everyone! Do grandparents like their grandchildren or not? [Yes, they do.] It's true that as one gets older, he comes to have gray hair and his face and hands are withered. Moreover, old people smell nasty in their body. When they are trying to get close to their lovely children to touch them, the children want to stay away from them. However grandparents want to give them more and more what they want. I also have experienced such a feeling. What about you? Grandparents habitually want to help their grandchildren, although the grandchildren don't want it. Even if they pass away, such merciful grandparents could not but like their grandchildren. Would it be right or wrong?
Think about this? When your ancestors like you, do you feel good or bad? You must feel good. (41-140)
See, your grandchild, a toddling child, as soon as he comes home and asks, "where is Grandpa, Grandma?" even in front of his Daddy and Mommy, brothers and sisters. Do you think the child question is polite?
Think about how the child daringly asks about his grandparents who may be over eighty years old. In spite of his acts and words, nobody blames him for his words. If it applies to an unfamiliar person who acts and asks that way, it would bring trouble. Probably you will scold him, saying, "how dare you be so impolite?." But when it applies to the grandchild, contrary to a normal expectation. the grandfather rather likes it, and far from blaming him, says, "Oh, you want to see me." What the child asks, "Where's Grandpa?" he means that the child wants to see his grandpa and expects something from him. So what matters is the real intention of the child. It's just that the child wants to see grandpa and wishes to be together with grandpa. Then, is it a good thing or a bad thing? Needless to say, that's a good thing.
Well, there is a child who is trying to find a lap to sit on. He stares at his brother and sister near him. And he thinks in his mind that after looking at his brother's face, it will be at most three minutes before he can sit there. Then, the child turns his head toward his father and finds the father is very busy and tired so that the child thinks inwardly it will be ten minutes before sitting on his father's lap. Actually a child knows how the situation is going at a glance.
But the child believes that his grandfather or an old person on the whole, is -how to say-more generous than others. The grandfather holds the child in his lap over one hour or two hours and even longer without showing any slightest sign of dislike. So the child believes that his grandfather is the man who holds me most among the family members. With all his love and heart, the grandfather holds and caresses the child in his bosom so that the child may not resist it. What a wonderful and beautiful scene it is! It just means that the top of the main stem and the root of the tree want to become one. (139-13)
Your mind and body should be the core of love, which are harmonized and unified with love. You ought to be a respectable person and the successor in your family. What is something eternal? See, when a child has something really good, then the grandparents also feel happy without being jealous. So do the other family members. Then, what makes it possible? At what is the thing that makes the whole party feel happy in their hearts. It's love which makes this possible. It's impossible without being centered on love.
Are grandparents very happy when their child has a baby? What makes them feel happy? That's just because the foundation of love is being broadened. (141-290)
What makes God lament? As a matter of fact, God hasn't have any grandchildren. When God's wish and Will come true, His range of foundation to move and work will be broadened. The Universe should start from your family, otherwise your family isn't able to enter into a connection with the Universe. It's just because the horizontal foundation is not realized yet. (180-109)
Grandparents feel lonely because they need the love of their grandchildren. It's natural that they should feel lonesome, when they are not given love. (104-147)
5. Watch the Phenomenon of Indifference to the Old in Western Society
These days, does the American family live together with their mother and father, grandfather and grandmother? [No, they don't] Is that a good or bad family? [That's bad] Then, why? I was wondering if the old in America like to go to a nursing home. Which park is something in New York? That's ...[Central Park] Yes, one spring day, I once went to Central Park. I found that all the benches had been filled with the old people. I came close to them, and asked them if they like to live together with their children or live separately? They answered that they don't like living alone but being together with their sons and daughters and grandchildren. They said that they always had missed their family. The number of the old in America have lived so much alone, missing their sons, daughters, and grandchildren, and thus, they passed away in such solitary places.
Originally all people were destined to be born, live, and die within love and with love. But such lonely old people don't have any partner to give love to or be given love. It may be their happiness and wish that they love and live together with their sons and daughters and grandchildren. So God is just like the old man in a family. (98-45)
Is there any home in America? There is something, like old people's homes, right? Then, are grandfather and grandmother happy there? It must be an unbearable life for them in that place. Is that American freedom? [No] (184-69)
Well, what about the Americans? Should they look down on the aged? [No, they shouldn't] It is natural that the young should respect the old. Seen from this point of view, Eastern society appears more moralistic than Western society. In other words, it can be said that the former is more high-minded than the latter, compared to God' ideal of love. So the West should go back to the East. It is high time for them to do so.
If Rev. Moon lived in Western society, would he find this idea and concept? [No] (laughing) They are far distanced in the field of ideals and concepts. What I say is far closer to the Eastern idea. Which family system do you have to follow? [We have to follow the Eastern family system] If you go somewhere in Eastern society, you may find a young woman who won't get married until she dies, in order to serve her grandparents. Well, she may be miserable. But seen in the light of the Universe, is she still miserable? Or is she happy?".
From the individual point of view, she might be unhappy, but from the Universal point of view, she must be a good example. She might be too old to get married and too old to have a baby, just serving her grandparents, which is miserable individually, but she will bring a blessing into the family of her brothers and sisters, seen from light of the Universe and the future.
What does this mean? It means that the family can get a blessing thanks to her. For instance, if a woman of the Moon family would do so, her family will receive a multiplied blessing. In the same manner, if Korean women would do so, Korea will have lots of blessing. (184-66)
What are brothers? They are the persons who share the same love of parents. Then, can they fight each other? They are not supposed to do so.
When I asked my daughter, SunJin, "Whose feet are these?,' she answered that the right foot was her father's and the left was her mother's. She was really right. Why is it so? Because of love. (106-80)
When you talk about "brotherly love," what is that for? It means that you ought to broaden the foundation of love beyond yourselves. Namely it also means to "broaden and multiply your relationship." Love of humanity! But do the words, "centered on life" make sense? There aren't any such words, something like "Life of humanity," right?
So, the starting point of all the origin should be the thing everyone likes. The core of the purpose of existence of something should be the thing from which everyone can draw the same end and conclusion. But with only such a life, we can't make it. (188-195)
A woman in the neighborhood dislikes the man who doesn't love his family. And villagers don't like the person who hasn't been given any love by his parents and brothers and sisters.
The person whom his brothers and sisters would welcome is not the one who thinks and acts centered only on himself, but the one who does so for the sake of the whole family. Is it right or wrong? It means that you have to go the opposite way. In other words, if you make up your mind that if you would take, wear and live in something bad, the others will like you. (120-112)
You have some people around you who are older or younger than you. You ought to be someone who is the center or the standard among people You can know the principle of how to become so, without being taught. That's why you need to listen to what your parents say and to follow the way of husband, and also to love your brothers and sisters. Everybody knows this principle. You haven't understood what it means until the providence of the Unification Church. (123-134)
There are different characteristics of children who are growing up under their parents wings. Even in your family, right? In spite of their various characteristics, the reason that they may insist on something is because they are rooted in the love of parents. So the other older brother or sisters can not neglect the youngest brother or sister's insistence. Why can't they do so? It's just because the youngest's insistence is the one centered on the parent's love. No matter how young he or she may be, because all of them have the same value from the view-point of parents' love, the others should accept the youngest's insistence. So a good family life means that such an insistence is welcome. The problem is that the insistence shouldn't be accepted in a relationship where they haven't become one with their parents.
What would happen in such an inharmonious relationship? The brothers and sisters may be different from each other in their will. But they shouldn't be different from their parents' will. The will of the brother and sister should be connected to that of their parents. They can keep their authority, when they discuss their will on such a foundation. When the older brother or sister insists on something through the foundation which parents can accept, he or she comes to hold authority on behalf of, the parents. You ought to stand by your opinion on the base of this foundation.
Even though one is younger, he can have the same position as parents have, if he asserts himself on the foundation where he becomes one with his parents' love. It means that he has the right to be able to participate in the same range as the parent's position. When he is in the place of the object, centered on love, all the authority of the parents are involved there. Namely the inheritance is involved. When one holds the same standard and opinion that the parents have, then he can stand together with his parents and can have the inheritance. That is a surprising fact. (170-64)
You see a child growing up. What do you think he is following? He grows up following his parents' love. "Here is father's love, mother's love, I like it." They find that parents' love is connected not only to them but also to the society, the nation, the world, and the Heavenly world.
When a woman goes up to this position and a man goes to that position, then they think, "Which way can my father and mother come up?" That's how they follow their parents. Also, they may wonder how man and woman can live together, although they are so different. Thus, they learn how parents their have lived.
Everybody, do you like your mother and father? [Yes] You may wish to live with your parents but not together with your brothers and sisters, right? (laughing) You may insist on yourself only. Do you really want to live together with your father and mother or together with all your brothers and sisters? Which one do you like?
Why are there brothers and sisters with you? The reason why you need brothers and sisters is that through them, you can come to understand how your mother and father have been growing up, seeing how your brothers and sisters are growing up. You have to know that is brotherhood. You are to grow up like that and then become one with each other.
Then, do you have to love your brothers and sisters, or don't you have to? [We have to love hem.] Why do you have to do so? It has something to do with the past, when your parents were growing up. If you should go to the spiritual world, do you think it's possible to see and meet your father and mother at their younger age? [It's possible] Well, you are a grown-up there, then you might meet your mother When she was three years old. Then, will you kick her away? Or will you make a bow to her? [We will make a bow] Maybe, a baby doesn't know what a bow is. (laughing) What will you let the baby do?
You have to learn how to love your little mom as you love your brother, your father and mother. You can not love them without learning how to love her. Then you shall love your brothers and sisters, thinking of as your mother and father in their younger age so that you have to love your father and mother if you encounter them at any age in the spiritual world. In order for you to be a person who can love your little mother and father, you need your brothers and sisters. Do you understand that?
The Father and mother have several children. Then, is it good that those children love each other more than their parents or less than their parents? [Yes] Why should they do so? It is to establish the condition that the children can love their father and mother from birth to death by loving their parents as young figures, which is shown through their brothers and sisters.
The mother comes to learn how her husband had been growing up through watching her son growing up. To love her son makes a condition so she can love her husband before marriage. The husband understands through his daughter' growth how his wife had been growing up. So he can establish the condition to love the whole life of his wife.
And parents love their sons and daughters without any distinction. It is to realize an all-round love in a family where you have brothers and sisters. How wonderful and surprising it is!
The father and mother want to treat their children equally. You should know this. That's what a parent's heart is. You understand what I am saying? [Yes] To hate your brothers and sisters is a more serious sin than to hate your mother. That's the conclusion. This is the most important in family education. (184-60)
The closer you become one to parental love, the more harmonious your life becomes. That's very theoretical. Why should you become one with your brothers and sisters? From the fact that your mother and father, man and woman become one, we know that brothers and sisters should become one. That's how the public law of the Universe is made up. Do you feel good when you fight your brother or sister? [No, we don't] Then, what makes you feel sad? [It's the natural law of the Universe] You may know about air pressure but not about the law of the Universe. In the same manner, people are is dominated by the power of the Universe.
For this reason, people are destined to make this vertical relationship. And in order to make this relationship, we say "love your parents," It doesn't mean to only "love your father" or "love your mother" but also "love your parents!" It is plural. When we say "love your brothers and sisters" The term of brothers and sisters is not the singular but the plural. Why is it plural? It is just because of the concept that love originates from the plural. You do understand what I am saying? [Yes]
Then, are you supposed to fight with your brothers and sisters? [No, we aren't] Are you to do so with your parents? [No] So this up-and-down relationship is absolute. No one can overturn it. Nowadays, the young people say that there is no need of such up-and-down relationship, but I think that the thing that is not needed is the one who says that the relationship is not needed. (104-127)
When brothers and sisters fight with each other in a family, how do your parents feel? It is just as if you hit your parents with a bat. If you would fight with each other so often, would your parents want to live longer or die earlier? [They would die earlier] Would they be happy or unhappy? [They would be unhappy] So you should know the following point, that your neglect of your brother may lead to the unhappiness of your parents and the whole family.
If one of your brothers or sisters does wrong, the rest of all the brothers and sisters should cure him of his wrongdoing, centering on the love of parents. Well, how wonderful the family is! They may think in their heart that the mother and father are like God for our descendants. Thus, if they love each other for the sake of others, then God will be together with the family and the children of the family will be in the position which represents God. (184-63)
7. The Order in a Family
Do you want to think first and act later or, on the contrary, do you want to act first and think later? [We want to think and then act] Because you are Moonies, you think so. But you may say to yourself, "I don't like to think," and you may just act. You just do something first and think about that later, right?
Then why does the society around you not agree with that idea? Why the society tell you to stop doing it? One may insist that you are wrong. "I am going the right way for Justice." There breaks out a fight between the old generation and the new generation. Which one do you like? Why are they opposed to each other?
If all members of a family would have their own opinions and desires, there would be six selfish ways. Each member of the family would want the others to follow his or her ways. Thus, they all insist on their own way. There would break out a fight every day. As they fight more and more, are they supposed to go up or go down? They are supposed to go down. If they fight two times, the steps of their position will be two more steps down than before, if they fight three times, they will drop three more steps. When they repeat it, the relationship would be destroyed. Is that a fact?
Or is the following true? You may think, "No, we can go up while fighting, yes that's the principal." [No, it's wrong] The truth is that a fight makes you step down from your position. Is it true? [Yes it's true] Democracy originates from this way of thinking: "Let's go our own way." We can not help doing so in order to develop and protect the whole.
Well, those who may think I am wrong, raise your hands. Let me ask you something. What conclusion can we draw from this? It is just to choose and go on our own way where we can help each other through. You are obliged to do so even if you don't like to do. When a certain way is beneficial to others, would it be the way to make you go up? [Yes]
We come to the conclusion that we absolutely need a common goal, centering on the way that is able to make you go up. Then, which way is the one that makes you go up? The way that make a family, nation and the world go up is the one that can be beneficial to the society, the world and the ideal of the world, respectively. People are inclined to deny the fact, but it is true.
There are two types of law. The one may be the law to prevent a fight and the other is the law to lead people to live for each other's sake. Then, what should we do, in order to prevent people from fighting? If they are in the relationship between brothers, the younger should obey the older one. The one who is born first becomes the subject in the order of the Universe. The senior one is connected to God. In addition, God is the most senior being who exists before everything does. So God must have established such a law.
If you are situated between parents and brothers, naturally you have to obey your parents, because your parents are born before your brothers were. That's the law. Such a law of order should be applied to each case. Do you understand what I mean?
You may say that you are just born so that nobody can interfere in your life. But you have to recognize that you have uncles or relatives. It means that you are born within the range of the clan. It is wrong to think, "Let's do as we please." On the contrary, you ought to live up to the law of order by which you can be in step with others.
You may say, "Do we need any law?" Yes, absolutely, you need the law. Only insisting on yourself to the end may lead to fighting. Then, only the strongest man could survive and the rest of them may die off.
That is the law which tells man to live for woman's sake, woman for man's sake, parents to live for children's sake, children to live for parents' sake. and brothers and sisters to live for each other's sake.
Do you understand what I am saying? It is possible to live up to the law, if you would do so through and by true love. You have to make sacrifices with true love for the sake of others. All laws are bound to yield under true love after all. Wherever you may go, if you go there with your hands raised like this, you will not be caught in the web of the law. You can pass through it. Understand? [Yes] That's why I always say to you that you have to live up to true love, making sacrifice and serving others. That's simple.
Imagine that the position of the older brother and the younger one might be overturned. It must not be so. The overturned position will be automatically put in order, even if it had been so. The older brother may call his younger one "elder brother" but it doesn't mean that their positions are disordered. Parents want to do more and give more in favor of their children. But can their behavior overturn their positions? Can the children be rude to their parents? Well, on the contrary, they must make up their mind to do more for their parents' sake. It's the function of their original mind that leads people to keeping order. Do you understand what this means? (117-216)
8. The Family as a Textbook of Heaven
You are standing in the place and the position of children. Also you are destined to inherit the fortune of your grandparents and parents. Why do you need grandparents? It's because they represent the past. They represent the real history of the past. Next, what do parents stand for? They stand for the present age. Consequently, the children stand for the future. That's how everything is involved there. The center of all parts, grandparents, parents, and children, is moving toward true love. You had better remember this, when you think of your family. To love and respect grandfather is to inherit and learn the past. You can learn the present from your father. To love and cherish children is to learn the future. What you could inherit from grandparents and parents is True Love, the lineage of True Love. If the grandfather and grandmother become one with each other, then the mother and father will become one also, centering on true love, we should be one and inherit the future. We can't inherit the future without forming a true family.
Through these three thing, we can understand the Universe. God stands for all history, and the true family represents the present and the future.
It means that the family is a textbook to show how to learn the love of the Universe. If there isn't a grandfather or a grandmother in your family, you may feel something lacking. Accordingly, a family should have the necessary parts. And then the family can be realized in the Kingdom of Heaven with the same shape and with the same members. The person who deserves to go to the Kingdom of Heaven is the one who loves the true grandparents, true parents, true children, true family, true nation, and the true Universe. The family is the textbook of the Heavenly world.
The grandfather loves the father and mother even at the risk of his life. How amazing and wonderful he is! In the same way, the mother and father love their sons and daughters at the risk of their lives. How amazing and wonderful they are! In conclusion, true love is something which makes a person die for the other's sake in a family: the grandfather is for grandchildren's sake, the parents for the children's sake, the children for the parents' sake, the elder sister for the younger's sake, the younger for the elder's sake, the husband for the wife's sake, the wife for the husband's sake, the grandmother for the grandfather's sake, and the grandfather for the grandmother's sake. (162-140)
Now that the young members of the Unification Church have understood the Will, they should take the old grandmother and grandfather out of the nursing home. It is high time for them to do so. If they would do so, would the old grandparents like it? [Yes, they would like it] What do the young people think? [They will like it] What makes you think so? It's because you have learned the teaching of the Divine Principle from the Unification Church. Before you learned that, you might have disliked the old.
You fellows, you will be a failure if you send your father and mother to a nursing home. You have to offer a prayer, "Oh, Heavenly Father, my father, my mother, and myself, these three generations must become absolutely one in heart and love, so please God, be with us." You should pray like that, then you are able to go to the Kingdom of Heaven. Otherwise, you could not go there.
Well, of your grandfather, father and you, who would be the closest person to God? [It's the grandfather.] That's right. Then, who can be the second closest person? [It's the father.] And then? It's you. Therefore, you should understand that you can't restore the original state until you inherit the blessing of the grandfather, grandmother, father and mother. You alone can't connect yourself to the kingdom of Heaven, if there is no vertical world. That situation can't establish any Four Position Foundation. (130-134)
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