Raising Children In God's Will
by Rev. Sun Myung Moon
Section 4. When a Family is in Perfect Harmony, All Things Can Be Accomplished. 1. The Reason Why a Family is Good.
Why is a family good? Because there is a foundation of freedom where everybody can give and take his or her love. That's why people miss their hometown. And a family is the place where their brothers and sisters are. (38-328)
A family is a good place. Why is it? Because there are the father and mother, brother and sister, and relatives. All people, without exception, miss their hometown, the original land. They miss their hometown more than they miss their nation. You like Korea, you want to live in Korea, you are living in Korea, but what do you miss? That's your hometown. (23-151)
2. Parents Prefer the Child Who More Closely Resembles Them.
Something should be so valuable to you, when its contents resemble you, even if it has no value. It is the same for your child. Parents like the child who more closely resembles them. It is natural that there should be children who more closely resemble the mother or father. Of course, parents do love all of the children, but they may prefer the one who more closely resembles him or her. Parents often talk to each other about who has more resemblance to them among their children. For a smart son, father says, "This guy just takes after me," then the mother complains, saying, "No, he resembles me very closely."
One's resemblance shows that he has the same characteristics and elements. Due to their same identities, they can become one eternally. Because there can exist different ratios in the state of resemblance, one knows who has a much closer resemblance to him. (39-230)
If someone says, "That guy takes after you," then nobody would dislike it. For this reason, if one has some extent of resemblance, the other may feel that degree of intimacy in proportion to the extent of that resemblance.
3. When a Family is in Perfect Harmony, All Things Can Be Accomplished.
There is an old sayings in our Oriental culture, which is 'When a family is in perfect harmony, it brings success in everything.' Those are really good words.
Man must be the center in a family which has a grandfather, grandmother, parents and children. But it has something else. A family has all things in it. It means that there exists everything in a family.
You may think that a family is the place where your mother and father, your wife and children are. But it has something more than those. A family includes a house, a garden, grandfather, grandmother, and so on. A grandfather and mother will be happier when they live in better surroundings. There is no comparison between the laughter of grandparents and that of a young couple.
The puckered-up laughter of grandparents is more wonderful and valuable. Their laughter brings harmony into the family. There are parents, who may be called 'middle grandparents' between grandparents. Also there shouldn't be too much gap between the two. All things are to be connected with each other through the relationship of three stages. All harmony takes place in three stages of a perfect harmony. When a family is in perfect harmony, all things can be accomplished. (139-12)
4. A Good Man in a Family
From what can we draw a definition about a good man? The question is who will be good man and who has a right for decision-making in your family. It is more valuable to decide something good or bad from the public position on behalf of the other.
You may have beautiful eyes, a good looking nose and mouth, but what if your one finger would be somewhat abnormal. You might want to hide it. You don't feel like bragging about that. What does that mean? It means that something to represent the whole should be the thing to gain public approval. That is the principle. We call something good when it gains public approval for representing the whole, the perfect foundation. So we can be proud of that.
From this point of view, you may insist that you should be the best man in your family, being supported by your parents. But your sister may not agree with you, saying, "You are a grumbler, you are a greedy guy." In order for you to be accepted as the best person, you should throw away your own insistence and then be able to draw approval of the whole family. Nobody can deny this fact.
Then, how should you try to be such a good person among the family members? For you to make it, you should have a higher level of standard. Otherwise, you could not get the unanimous approval. Then, what is the foundation from which you can get the approval? That's the question. (105-89)
5. A True Person in a Family
Who is a true man? The true man is a very good-natured man. Then, who is a good-natured man? It is not the good-natured man who wishes that all would obey him, but the man who wants to live for the sake of the others. When we are speaking of the most valuable, promising, and best-natured child in your family, the child must be the person who can get the answers yes, which means all the agreement of the family members from his grandparents to even relatives. With no doubt, the child is not the one who wants his grandfather to make him happy but the one who likes and loves his grandfather. Although he is a little child, he always considers how to act and how to serve, in order to make his grandfather happy.
He also tries to help all his family members including his relatives, day and night. Such a man is a really promising and true son or grandson. None could deny this point. Such a person is the man who can inherit goodness. 360 degrees of a circle have one point in it center. When something crosses the circle and goes to the opposite point, it can't help passing by the point of the center. And a circle can be formed and balanced, centered upon the point in the middle. Every line which crosses the center from different angle, has the same length to the opposite side.
Then, what's the central line? It is the thing which holds all the power and pressure running through the object. That is to say, in a family there are parents in the center, and brothers and sisters, relatives in the front, back, right and left side. That makes up a round shaped family. Then, who can be the central being, like the hub of a wheel? Who is the most promising and true man in the family? He must be such a person with whom every member of the family wants to be together. This kind of man can deserve being the central being. (174-11)
6. Who is the Master of a Family? The Most Sacrificial Man.
Who can be the master of the family? He is not the one who wants to satisfy his desire at the cost of an other's sacrifice but the one who makes sacrifices for the sake of others. Thus, he can be approved as the center of the family. Even parents wish to give him an everlasting blessing, on their knees. (60-69)
For example, there are parents, six brothers and sisters, a total of eight members in a family. If the youngest brother is the most sacrificial among them, even the parents will bow their heads. As time goes on, his brothers and sisters will look upon him as the central being of the family. They come to recognize that such a sacrificial youngest brother should be the central being. That's why people always say, "Do something good!, do something good!" What does that mean? It means that you have to do something good for an other's sake. Then, you will be the central being. (77-298)
Who do you want to be the master of your family? Who do you want to sit on the throne as the master of your family? Who does every member of a family want to be the heir? Who deserves such a blessing is the one who has more love and heart for others.
But these days the young people have not recognized this fact. They are inclined to think, "What is use of sacrifice? Man can not survive without fighting."
That's the wrong way of thinking. A best friend is the one who lives for the other's sake, and he is the most serving, sacrificial person. The essence which makes it possible is not knowledge, power or money, but love.
So however childlike a young girl may be, if she loves grandfather with her whole heart and gives something to him all the time, then she will become a sign of love in that family. The man who can inherit the family and its tradition is the one who love all the whole members more than he does himself. (141-292)
In the instance where there are ten family members facing danger, if one of them is bound to die, in order for the rest of them to survive, the best way for everyone's survival is to sacrifice the chosen one. What if those ten members fight with each other, insisting they would like to die first? Would God say, "Go ahead?" [Yes] God let them fight with each other and wants the strongest one to make sacrifices? [Yes] Maybe.
In an other way, what if one voluntary young brother would insist that he wants to die for the family, although the rest of the members tried to dissuade the young brother from sacrificing himself? What if the young brother still would want to make that sacrifice for the sake of the whole, in spite of that, the others say, "You shouldn't sacrifice yourself, you don't have to pay indemnity, the whole family will pay indemnity."
There are two types of responses, like the above. Which one is better? The first one or the second one? Which one does God like? Which one does Satan like? The first one? [Yes] The second one. Yes] That's an important matter to decide. Because it is the fundamental problem as well as a very serious matter.
Both of the two may be good. But one is on God's side and another is on Satan's side. We need a clear answer. Which one? [The first one, the second one] Let me answer it? It's the second one, It's number two! Understand? It's much closer to God's side to make more sacrifices. Where there are many more sacrifices, there must be love, especially the love of God. (130-230)
7. The Family as the Training Center for Making Relationships.
You might have fought with your sisters or brothers. If you did so, you should go back and give a feast to make them happy, and must apologize for your past behavior. And you've got to become reconciled with them and love them again as you love your mother and father. How wonderful it is! It means that after your parents pass away, the remaining brothers and sisters have to help, serve, and love each other and regard each other as parents themselves. From such a mind and heart, the Kingdom of Heaven starts to come true. Understand? [Yes]
Through all members of your family and relatives, you can see the image of your mother and father. Furthermore, they are like gifts from God. And you are taught how to love other people even at the cost of your life. The Kingdom of Heaven is the place where people love each other and live together. Everyone! Speaking of an aunt or uncle, you'd better think that you can see the image of your grandfather and grandmother through your aunt or uncle.
From this point of view, the world is an amplified family. There in the world are the same age groups of grandparents, aunt, uncle, parents, brother and sister as a family which has such groups. If something is round-shaped, we can call it a circle. You should love and serve the old people as you do your grandparents.
If you encounter some beggar who is your father's age, you need to pity and love him as you do your father. If he is your brother's or sister's age, treats him or her in the same way as you do your physical brother and sister. If you do so, what a wonderful thing you are doing!
Well, from the light and position of God, all human beings in the world are His sons and daughters. Then, does God feel happy when they fight with each other? Absolutely not. It is the same principle and concept applicable to your family relationship, too. Do you understand? (184-65)
Section 5. Lessons Learned from the Crane, the Salmon and the Trees 1. Lessons Learned from the Crane
Can a crane fly well? No, it can't fly very well to start with. However, once it starts flying no bird can follow it. This is what is so great about the crane. When the crane starts to fly with its big strides it doesn't look as though it's going to be able to. When it lifts up its leg to take a nap it looks very crafty. The beak always looks like this. (Shows with gestures) It is meditating. It spends such a long time in devotion standing on one leg that its legs have become quite thick. Even God feels sympathy. However, no one can follow the crane once it has started flying. It has that kind of authority. (141-308)
You should not act as sparrows. You must be like cranes. Have you ever seen a crane fly? Small birds fly from here but they should really fly from here because it is longer.
In order to transmit its energy well it flies in an S shape. Little sparrows fly like this. But the crane flies with a rhythm. This is what I think. They make the shape of an 8. (Showing with gestures) Isn't that right? The crane flies high in the sky, always looking into the far distance. Why do cranes have long legs? Why do cranes always stand on one leg. They always stand like this. Why is it? ...[Because if they lift both legs up they will fall over.] No, you rascal! Don't be silly! They are trying to adjust to the universe. They have one mouth.
The universe's vertical line, the ideal vertical line, is only one. What does ideal vertical mean? The universe revolves around a life that is centered on lofty ideals and a lofty love. The crane doesn't look interesting when it is looking to the side. It acquires its majesty when it lifts its neck up and stands up straight. The long neck is really majestic. It's like a high antenna. It is aiming for a high place. It has the power to extend itself out. Then it becomes vertical to the earth. Because the body of the crane is vertical, the wings are not very thick. Then, in a streamline shape it lifts its wings up to the horizontal line.
Once the crane starts flying..... What is the bird that can fly the longest distance without moving its wings? It's the crane. It is not the eagle. Because it lifts its head so high it is natural that it flies high. That's why it can see the furthest. This is right in theory, isn't it?
Even if you shout at it or say, "Why do you make such a noise when you fly?," it will just continue flying regardless. It just keeps on flying and flying. It flies towards the ocean. Even if there is an uproar down below, even if the sparrows are dying, even if all kinds of things are happening, it just keeps on flying. It flies over the oceans and over the continents and when it finally lands it finds its place saying, "Only I am the master." It never lands amongst the riffraff. It always finds some majestic place to rest. It is really noteworthy.
I have not been able to settle yet. I have been looking for a place to settle. Where do you think that place is? There must be a place somewhere. Because God is the subject, I should go and settle in front of God. What do you think about that? Rev. Moon goes forward, keeping this within my heart as my destined path. I may have even been born like that.
So if you are following someone who was born with that kind of destiny and you have joined the Unification Church are you going to become a baby goose or a baby crane? Geese are quite nice birds. When they walk around with their feathers spread out on their behinds they look quite nice, too. They'd make good disco dancers. Would you like to be a champion goose disco dancer? Would you? Or would you like to be cranes? Which one? [We want to be cranes!] In the Unification Church group there are two types of people. Do you want to become geese or cranes? [Cranes!] Are you sure that your necks are long enough?
So those in the Unification Church look beyond the wall. If you live in Korea, then you look towards Japan or America. If I try to educate you and raise you up you should just follow. This is the reason why many people want to follow me wherever I go. That kind of mind is okay. So if you want to become cranes at least you should have some resemblance to a crane, enduring on one leg. But some of your legs are shaped like this. This does not meet the standard. You shouldn't try just to take it easy when you study. You have to fly high in the sky!
If you want to become like the crane you have to learn how to align yourself to the vertical line of the universe. In other words you need to have the right kind of attitude. People have to have an upright conscience. For this to be achieved the vertical line already has to be drawn in your life. You have to know this. Where does the sentence, "He has an upright conscience" come from? Already the vertical line is standing in the cosmic center and upright means that your line is parallel to the cosmic vertical line. That's the line you have to compare yourself to. But your line is bent. The crane is the only animal that stands vertical.
The crane is dazzling white with black patches. It flies in the sky but it also digs in the filthy water. Did you know that? It even sifts through feces. It can also go in low places. If the black crowds say to the crane, "Hey, you were born to fly high in the sky. Why are you down here?" The crane will say, "You silly things. Hold your tongues! I also have black patches, don't I? I have the necessary requirements to be here."
It also has red streaks. This means that it has passion. And it always follows the passion of the leader. It is very impressive, isn't it?
What does a crane eat? It eats on the land but it can also eat on the sea as well. It can combine both worlds. If in the Unification Church Mr. Moon so and so is a crane, then he should be able to deal with the world of religion but also with the world of business. He is in a high place but he can also go into the dirtiest places. He can adapt to any level. So the tail of a crane is black. Why is the tail black? It is because it lands on its behind. I think this fits the universal law.
Because the Korean people love the crane they always embroider it into their pillows. Either the crane or the mandarin duck (which is also called the love bird).
On the stage curtain of the Little Angels theater there are four cranes. This symbolizes the Korean nation. The Unification Church people often make a "kweck!" sound. They don't know how to speak properly. The goose makes a "Kyu" sound, as does the white crane. The sound may be the same, but the content is different.
What kind of sound do you make? The goose just eats and does its business, whereas the crane flies. There are two types of people. There are people who live to eat and people who live to fly. Are we people who live to eat like the goose or to fly like the crane? Do you want to eat a little and fly a little? [We want to fly a lot] Perhaps you are too fat to fly. [No!] Let us fly high and far together. Do you think because Rev. Moon is a little fat that I can't fly? It is not true. I can fly very well!
Mrs. Moon's name is Hak-ja. "Hak" is the Korean word for crane. "Ja" is child. She thinks it is because she was born to join together with God's child. Because she was born with this name she could become the mother of the Unification Church. This is what she thinks. It is a splendid attitude, isn't it. "Han" means one person who can represent Korea and represent the universe. Han means one, which also means the best. I think Mother would be happy to hear me say this. Anyway, this is how we live. This is the Unification Church style, isn't it? [Yes] I never prepare a sermon like they do in the Christian churches. If I did, you wouldn't' be able to digest it. I have to speak like I am doing today for you to be able to digest it well.
This is why you should not say I want to live well. Just a little high. The crane flies really high but we can't fly so high. Even if you can't fly really high you should at least fly to the middle level. In order to follow Father and Mother you have to look high. You should not keep your eyes fixed on the ground. Even if you start flying in the middle level, the more you fly the higher you should go. You have to fly in a line parallel to the neck. In other words, you have to go up. Your whole body needs to go up. I haven't even reached the conclusion but your look as though you are wondering whether or not I am going to ask you to make more sacrifices. You are right. That is your destiny. So fly in the middle level, but your head must be going upwards. (140-82)
2. Lessons Learned from the Salmon
Humans have many things they should reflect on. The sea is full of many different types of fish. If you study them careful you will find them to be quite mysterious. How do they return to the same place according to the seasons? People who live by the sea know about this. Sardines, squid, Alaska pollack, and the most numerous mackerel. All of them, without fail, return in April and May. They may have swum throughout the oceans of the world but when the season is right they return to the same place without fail.
The Alaska salmon is even more impressive. Let us think about the salmon for a moment. They swim around as young baby fish for some months to half a year, and after they have grown a little they start off and they follow the flow of the water downstream. There are over 4,000 of them at a time. And after 4 years, when it is time to lay their eggs they return to exactly the same spot. Modern science has no way to explain how they do this.
It is really miraculous isn't it? Why is it that one small little fresh water fish, the salmon, contains such a mysterious content and lives its life dancing and playing whereas humans who are full of desire have not been able to fulfill their desires for thousands of years? Why is that they have lost their direction and live in such a complicated and mixed-up society and in this time of transition everyone is clamoring to be saved? The problem is that many of these people have almost no possibility of being saved.
You have to know this. All of the creation is leading a public life. Isn't this true? In the solar system the earth revolves around the sun and the moon revolves around the earth. The earth revolves following a set path. There is no change in this path. In the millions of years of history the earth is saying to us, "You may change, but I won't."
Look at the small sparrow, when it goes, "Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep." For most creatures the sparrow is just like a plaything to catch or kill as they please. However, even this sparrow knows how to build its own house. After it has baby sparrows and the nest is threatened with danger, they will risk their lives to protect their young and they will continue to do so, for a thousand years or even ten thousand years.
But what about people? Some people say, "There is no parental love. We don't need parental love." (140-82)
The salmon dies after it lays its eggs. However, in order to fertilize the eggs the male and female salmon become one. It is like they experience conjugal love under the death penalty. Don't you think this kind of love transcends the usual conjugal love? When it is time for the female salmon to lay its eggs, the male salmon digs the ground and protects the eggs. In that way they become the ideal couple. And when it is time for the eggs to hatch, they both die. I was really shocked when I observed the male and female salmon dying. The baby salmon eat the body of their mother.
Why did God make them in this way? Through the salmon we can learn just how important having children is and how important love is. God is trying to teach us a lesson through the salmon, that love and having children is the greatest thing in the universe. You should be willing to do anything to realize love and have, children even if it means risking your life. The salmon teaches us a truly amazing lesson. (132-81)
3. Lessons Learned from the Trees
After a seed has been planted in the ground, it has to go through various stages in order for it to bear fruit. First it has to sprout roots, then the trunk, the branches, the leaves and then it has to flower before the fruit can come out. The trunk growing out of the sprout is a different thing. The branches growing out of the trunk are different. The leaves growing out of the branches are different. The flowers growing out of the leaves are different. And the fruit growing out of the flowers is a different thing. But we look at all this as one process.
Although the trunk growing from the sprout is a different action we cannot reject this process. If there is somebody who wants to reject it on the basis that it is different, that person won't be able to see the fruit. It is one process, one event. It is a destined process which has to be realized for the perfection of the plant. The trunk has to grow from a new sprout. There is no other option. The leaves have to come from the branches and then the flowers have to bloom. The fruit exists inside each one of the flowers. This is a natural process.
The growth of a tree from the sprout to when it bears fruit, all of these processes have to be gone through in order for the desired fruit to appear. When seen in this light, in the world of humans, for one individual or one nation to reach perfection or for this world to reach perfection centered on the providence of God, in this whole process, we cannot just look towards the good times. (59-227)
The tree itself doesn't only need the roots and it doesn't only just need to follow the required order. The whole tree itself with its branches and leaves spreading in all directions has to become one. So this means that if you stand in the position of East, the West, North, and South all have to grow in equilibrium. And then the tree has to bear fruit before it can become a tree of perfected form. If one side is over half way out of shape, then this tree will bear fruit that is lacking. If you plant a seed from such a tree, the same kind of tree will grow again. This is why equilibrium is absolutely essential. (141-180)
Once I went to an apple orchard. And although I am not an expert, I thought that some of the branches of the apple trees needed pruning. From the point of view of reason as well, it needed doing. If the branch comes out like this, it needs to spread out like this (showing with actions). This branch needs to be thick like this, but if this branch is thick like this in compared to the other branches then it needs to be cut off. When it's growing, if only this side is thick then many problems will arise.
I felt that I had to do something, so I made this branch spread out like this and this branch spread out like that. If I cut this branch then I have to leave that thick branch. If you cut both of them, then the tree will die. You have to prune the tree so that the branches going down and the branches going up, the horizontal branches get as much air as possible.
Anyway I felt that at least two-thirds of each tree had to be pruned. What do you think about that? However, I didn't do it. Why didn't I cut off the branches? [Because the flower buds had started to appear]. Actually you shouldn't just look towards this years fruit. You have to think, "How will this tree be next year?" I think we have entered the stage where the trees are almost useless. In fact we need to cut off all the rotten branches. You should begin again from now. This branch is full of bugs, like the mayfly which has made its house in the branches. These rotten branches need cutting off; there is no other way. You have to choose a new branch and nurture it. This is what I think. If possible, you have to cut the tree so the air circulates well around the branches. All the restricting twigs and leaves need to be cut off. You may say, "I'm not an expert, but..." I tell you, do it today! (66-82)
If you are the fruit of 6,000 years of history there probably would have been fruitful ages and shriveled ages. And if these ages bear fruit which slowly starts to ripen, what happens? The leaves shrivel up and fall to the ground and only the fruit is left.
Autumn needs to come in order for the fruit to ripen. The autumn winds need to blow. The autumn winds are different from the summer breezes. They are not the type of helpful winds that help us to overcome trials or distinguish between right and wrong. It is the kind of wind that can suck out all the hidden things. It is the kind of wind that adds minus to the whole rather than plus. Nevertheless, that kind of wind is necessary.
When that kind of truth, that kind of principle, that kind of religion appears it has to be able to withstand the autumn frosts of this weak world. I think like that. The Unification Church has endured many hardships, many frosts. But that is not the end. The frostbitten buds have to be able to overcome the winter winds and only the thin branches need to remain. In that process it doesn't matter if all the fruit falls to the ground if within the fruit there is one hidden seed.
The true owner doesn't think about the fruit, he thinks about the seed. Salesmen desire fruit from the orchard but the true master of the orchard seeks to find the true seed within the fruit.
We in the Unification Church have suffered countless hardships and difficulties from the surrounding environment and have become the fruit hanging from the thin branch. But we shouldn't be concerned about the external appearance of the fruit; we should worry about whether there is a true seed within that fruit. So when we are judged in the coming new spring the question is whether or not our seed contains without doubt the power of life representing the No. 1 Unification Church disposition. If it doesn't have this, then there is no life.
In order for life power to exist, until the tree grows up it has to endure all the winds and frosts. It has to have all the frosts of history. With the life power which has the power to pass through the rugged trials and hardships it has to have hope for the future in order for it to be able to greet the new spring where the buds of new life can appear. Then passing through the summer and the autumn it will become the seed which contains the power of new life. Have you become that kind of seed? Not just become a seed, but do you have the natural power within you to be able to develop infinitely so that no one can knock you off your course? When the new age arrives do you have the life power within yourself to be able to stimulate yourself? The person who doesn't have this is like a dead person. The seeds and the fruit and such things have to go within the fertilizer. Do you understand?
All the hardships I have endured until now have been to make this kind of a seed. Even if we have to overcome the gales of the summer season, the cold winds of the autumn season, the snows of the winter, it is no problem. After you have passed through all these stages then your seed which contains the power of the ideal life, has to bud.
In the same way that God has helped me to cross over all the critical paths of history in my struggle to realize God's ideal, can you also renew your bond with God? From now those in the Unification Church have to make a new beginning so that no matter where you are put, no matter what storms blow you can take my place and tread down this wretched environment and become the living body which can grow and prosper. Can you do that? (19-42)
Section 6. My Family as the Model Family 1. The Family Code of Conduct in my Family
The reason why I feel grateful to my mother and father is because it was one of our family practices never to let people who visit our house go away without feeding them first. My mother never even gave a beggar a cold reception. My grandfather was like that, too. It was a family tradition. If a beggar came to our house asking for food, if my mother or sister-in-law didn't prepare food for them in the kitchen straight away then my grandfather of my father would take out their own dinner tray to give to them. It sometimes meant they didn't eat. However, in their eyes it was all right to miss a meal if you were giving it to a beggar. This is why I am doing what I am for the world, today.
In order for people from the Honam area, or the Yongnam area or from all over Korea, to go to the north, they all followed the main road. So if they came to our village to find a place to stay for the night they were always told, "If you go down there you'll find the Moon family's house. You will be able to stay there for the night." So the guest room was never empty all the year round. Sometimes three rooms were all full up.
I know well what a hard time my mother had all her life. But even though we fed everyone from all over Korea we weren't ruined. A descendant who could be welcomed by all of Korea was born. That may be why someone like Rev. Moon was born. I am the same. I am feeding the people of the world. If when I about to eat there is someone who has not eaten, my spoon doesn't move from its spot. It's all stop. That is why all those people who accused me have perished and the Unification Church, which has endured all sorts of persecution, has risen like the morning sun. (147-306)
The whole Moon family is like that. I think, "Feed the people of Korea" was like our family motto. It was like that long ago. When the Dongjok Company was established, the Japanese took the land from everyone and sent them to Manchuria. So people from Kyungnam province, people from Cholla province on their way to Manchuria stopped at our house because they didn't have any travel money. You see, our house was not that far from the main road.
And all the beggars that lived in or near our district, all of them visited our house. It was like a meeting place for beggars. There were always one or two beggars sleeping in the guest room. There was an old mill in our village and it was a meeting place for beggars. I made friends with many of these beggars. If we made rice cakes in our house I always took pity on them and brought them some. If they leave our house in the morning, then who is going to give them lunch? Because there was no one to give them lunch, I remember that I often took them lunch. I often did it secretly without my mother knowing. It was a good deed. My mother had set this food aside to feed me but I took it to feed the beggars without asking my mother. Thinking about it now, I think I did well. Yes, it was a good thing to do.
I think I was raised up on a blessed foundation which helped me to think about the salvation of the world. So people like us are born with such a family background. And I even wonder whether or not this was the origin of being able to raise up Korea and the world to receive God's blessing. When I think about it now I am thankful to my ancestors. But actually, I haven't been able to fulfill any kind of responsibility that I have to my ancestors. (127-111)
In order to become king you have to be a person who is going to feed the whole country. Do you understand? If you want to be king you have to feed and clothe them. No one will be punished for feeding the poor and the wretched. That is why I am telling you to feed many people.
People like my father and grandfather, when on a cold winter's morning a passing beggar stopped at our house saying, "I've just dropped in for breakfast," already had the breakfast tray in their hands to give it to him. If my mother was doing something else, they would take the tray out themselves. Because I received this kind of education I am always eager to feed the people of the world. (138-127)
2. My Mother Who Showed Me the Example of Love.
My mother told me something once. My mother had many children. She surpassed as many as ten and had three more. So how many all together? [Thirteen!] She had thirteen so you could say that she had a similar number to Jesus' group. If you add the twelve disciples and Jesus that makes thirteen. This is what my mother, a mother of thirteen, said: "There is nothing more interesting than raising children. Having a baby and breast feeding it and watching it grow is the most interesting thing there is. I don't know what I am going to do when I am an old woman and can't have any more children."
When I looked at my mother's face I saw a haggard, worn face. It was a face that had experienced all the different types of hardships. But the face that is worn by having lovingly raised children is beautiful to see. Love accompanies difficulties and sacrifice but it also makes you forget all your sacrifices. If you have true love you forget all your sacrifices. Those kinds of sacrifices become your fertilizer. It becomes your flesh and bones and your joy. Loving means becoming.
But if the husband says to his loving wife, "Darling you were born to love a million units but please love me ten million," then what will happen? True love will not be realized in that family. Love given because it is asked for is not true love. True love is not "I love you. Let's begin." It is a love that just appears naturally. Without realizing it, I just long after my partner. That is how it is. Love is something that is given and received without fanfare. It is not something that starts with the order, "Let's begin!" There is no such love as that.
So you shouldn't say to your wife, "Love me a million or love me ten million. If you want true love you should say, "Even if you were born to love a million I will be satisfied with a hundred thousand." Then even if your wife loves you a million she will want to love you even more.
It is strange isn't it? But that is how it is. You don't want to give to those who ask you to give. You want to give to those who don't ask. This is love. You don't want to give love to the people who roam around wild. Love finds the person who is decent and modest. Love spreads gradually without anyone noticing it. When the husband and wife make love together should other people watch? Love should be without anyone else knowing it. It should flow naturally without any kind of force. With this kind of love somebody who is born with ten love can love a hundred or a thousand or ten thousand. Everything is possible and there is no harm or loss. (44-200)
3. Mother's Pains, Hard Work and Hardships
The wife of saints needs to become a bad wife. Do you understand? You don't know why, do you? You have to understand the reason for this and then you will be able to understand history. Anyway, it's true. It's true.
Do you think Mother is a great person? [Yes] Mother is great because she restored everything through indemnity. (188-319)
Let me talk about Mother for a minute. Mother gets up at dawn and after pledge she has a cup of coffee. I told her it's not good for her. I told her that I had heard from a grandmother that someone who had drunk coffee for three months had had to have a stomach operation and so I told her not to drink the coffee. What could she do? If she didn't drink the coffee she felt sleepy. She said the children could leave after pledge if they wanted to but in her position how could she leave? So she had no other choice but to drink coffee in order to overcome her sleepiness. It is a pitiable position, isn't it? Other people could sleep with peace of mind. Even the men could sleep soundly even for 24 hours if they wanted, to but Mother wasn't able do that. It is quite pitiable, isn't it? (910-310)
Mother worries about the children but I don't. It is because I have to love mankind before I love my children. And before I love humankind I have to love God.
In a year never worry about my children once, even in my dreams. I embrace mankind and protect the universe and God's love which is in the subject position. They grow so rapidly. I don't interfere and just let them grow. That is how I have to be at this present time. (171-247)
Before you stress your own importance and center everything on yourself, stress the whole. I need people who value the relationships of above and below. We need a complete restructuring. We have reached that stage now.
In our family Mother has been trying to educate the children until now in these things. From that point of view Mother is even greater than I am. So I said to Mother, "Because you are in this position, the children are what show your internal side. So you take responsibility for the children's education." This is what I told Mother to do. (123-282)
4. Father's Love for His Children
Until Hyo-jin and Ye-jin were 12 years old, no matter what I had done, no matter how tired I was, I prayed over them while they were sleeping. Do you understand what I am trying to say? It is not easy being a parent. The children should be able to feel automatically, "Just as my father loved me so we must love our children." You have to be able to make your children feel that you are the best father in the world. You have to do this. Do you understand? [Yes] (97-311)
Once seven of my children were waiting for me in Korea. I thought about them like this: "It is not the original will of God for you to become dirtied and starved by the satanic world. But I understand everything. But right now there is nothing that can be done about it. Even if it difficult, please endure." Every time I thought like this, even if I am with the children for one day only, I go into their room while they are sleeping and kiss them. Why? Because even through that condition, every time I meet them and feel joy at seeing them, I am reminded of my responsibility and I am stimulated to work to realize God's Will as quickly as possible. That is my situation. The problem is the realization of the Kingdom of Heaven..
So whatever it takes I want to have them live in the Kingdom of Heaven. It is my fervent desire to be able to bless them in marriage in the Kingdom of Heaven. I feel responsible to do this. When the children see how their parents are suffering in this way they must think, "Even if I don't go to heaven and receive the prayer and blessing, receiving the blessing here is more precious than receiving the blessing in heaven" and they need to be able to stand in the position in which they tell their parents not to be sad and not to worry and they will try to comfort them. If this doesn't happen then big problems will arise. We have to have our children inherit that kind of tradition. (66-289)
For 15 or 16 years I went and prayed over the children until they were twelve years old. It is not easy being a mother and father to such precious children. I always think, "What can I do for you? I am not going to be indebted to you. I will pray for your blessing while you are sleeping and I will embrace you and kiss you. Because I have no time I can not hold your hands all the time, so with a sorry heart I tell you that my embraces and kisses are for eternity." This is how I am living. (85-136)
5. Don't Fight in Front of Your Children
How long have you been in the Unification Church? Even if it is 10, 20 or 30 years you still want to follow me. Why do you think this is? Because everything I am doing, going the way of the original mind, the way of true purpose is right, God protects everything. You mustn't fall; if you do, there will be big problems. Knowing all this I don't want you to fight in the future. I want you to become the model family....
The thing that we can be proud of in the Satanic world are the blessed families. Do you know how precious it is to have received the blessing from me? Do you know? [We know] You know? [Yes]
Your sons and daughters need to live their whole lives being able to say they never saw their mother and father fight. Just now Mother and the children were here... It is true isn't it? All sorts of things happen in life. Sometimes to have to give a scolding and some things don't turn out so well, do they? Sometimes you feel like you have to say something and try to educate the one who is wrong. However, when you do that, if the children enter the room you must stop immediately and return to your normal state. No how matter big an argument you have with your spouse you must not face the children with a red face. This is my philosophy.
That is why my children think we are always a peaceful and nice father and mother. They think Mother is the best of all mothers and Father is the best of all fathers. Mother and Father are like a second God. If you ask, "Are they like God or like a mother and father?" When they answer they are like mother and father, God is also happy. This is a very precious thing. This is the most precious part of education.
People have an emotional side. If the mother and father fight and shed tears and cause strife, then the children will cry, too. Do you think this is acceptable? Do you understand what I am talking about? [Yes] That is a really shameful way to act.
Your children are the God of the future. They are the God of the future. Do you understand? Who holds God's ideal? You have to bequeath the future to them. They are the God of the future. They have to be the God of the future. They have to be God's substantial object. That is why they are the teachers of teachers for you. You cannot deceive your children. There is no way. They know immediately if the father and mother are lying even if you don't tell them.
That is why the parents also have to be teachers of teachers to their children. You have to stand in the position of being the second God and become the teacher of teachers.
Their emotional standard and direction must come from the father and mother's emotional standard and direction. "I want to become a husband like my father and I want to become a wife like my mother." If they don't feel like this you should educate them to feel like this. This is the beginning of heartistic education. So God dislikes fighting in the family. Fighting will destroy the family, destroy the husband and wife, destroy the children. It will bring about ruin. (165-94)
6. Don't Shed Tears in Front of Your Children
The mother and the father should not shed tears in front of their children. No, you must not show your children your tears. Your children are God. There are many times when I had to educate Mother. I had to admonish her many times. But the mother and father should never cry in front of their children. Do you understand what I am saying? [Yes]
You love your children, don't you? [Yes] The mother and father are everything in the hearts of the loving child's mind. They know that the most precious thing in the whole world after God is their mother and father. More important than the country's president, more important than the greatest saint in the world, more important than their teachers, more important than anything. The family has to advance on that kind of foundation of heart.
7. Receive Permission Before Going Out
My children are the same. They can't go out as they please. They have to receive my permission first. Why? There are all sorts of terrible things taking place in the world today. We are not living in the kind of environment where we can say yes to everything and let the children do what they want, are we? We have not yet reached the environment in which we can say, centered on true love from the position of true parents, "My son or my wife."
Even if your children eat and sleep and go in and out as they want, and even if the mother does the same, you have the position of being a watchman to keep your family safe. You have to continue living that kind of life as long as you are conscious. That is the life I am living. Does God rest? As yet, God has not been able to bequeath His throne to me and say before the whole universe, "This is my son" You never know what is going to happen. You must always be careful.. Things could change now, couldn't they? (181-267)
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