TRUE LOVE AND FORBIDDEN LOVE
An Investigation into the Cause of
Immorality and Suffering,
its Historical Origin and its Solution
Chapter 1 - LOVE AND LIFE
LOVE IS THE SUPREME VALUE
What do we value most in life? What makes us happy? Some will say "money
and wealth." Others will respond without doubt: "Wisdom and knowledge." Some
others again may suggest: "Power, position and fame." Are money, wealth,
knowledge, power and fame then the most important things in our lives?
When we face this question seriously, other thoughts may arise. There
is no doubt that we all seek for wealth, knowledge, power and fame which,
although valuable, in themselves are not the source of our happiness. Someone
could have all the wealth in the world, as well as knowledge but, if obliged
to live in isolation, such a person would not be happy. Goals such as money,
wealth, knowledge, power and fame only have meaning and value when they are
shared or used for the benefit of others.
We are happy when we can share with other people our position, wealth,
knowledge or anything of value that we possess. If someone offered you billions
of dollars as well as knowledge and power in exchange for your loving spouse,
parents or children, would you sell them? Would you be happy afterwards?
Only when we have harmonious relationships of true love with others can we
experience the greatest happiness.
Consequently, happiness requires a relationship with someone and this
is true as much for God as for man. Therefore, we have to come to the
conclusion that what is most precious in life is love. No amount of money,
power or knowledge can ever match the infinite power of true love. It does
not matter how long we live: our biological existence does not have value
unless we experience love.
When we observe our universe, we realize that each being exists through the
union of a pair of elements. That is true on all levels, starting even from
the mineral kingdom. Atoms and molecules are formed by the union of a positive
and negative element. In plants, existence and reproduction requires the
union of stamen and pistil, which represent the masculine and feminine aspects.
The system of pairs is even more obvious in the animal kingdom. Fish,
birds, mammals and other animals exist as male and female and human beings
exist as men and women.
Why does this system of pairs exist? Was there ever, throughout history,
any man who planned to create himself and his descendants as masculine,
with all his organs and characteristics, and a feminine complement, to form
a home and procreate? Did any woman plan it? Of course not. Who did so? It
is reasonable to admit that it would have to be the original Creator, the
first to think, plan and design, who created us as man and woman for the
purpose of consummating a union in love.
The Creator divided all things into masculine and feminine so that they
could unite and multiply through the giving and receiving of love. God created
everything with a reciprocal partner so that all levels of creation would
experience joy and love. Through the action of love, each species multiplies
and extends its lineage.
The concept of love was first in God's mind and only afterwards did
He create man and woman. Man and woman could only find true love through
Do we men and women live for the purpose of eating three times a day and
sleeping eight hours every night? Certainly not. We live for the ecstasy
and the fulfillment of love. This is the way God created us.
God is the first personality and the human personality originates from
God. This is why men and women are willing to sacrifice their own lives for
the benefit of the ones they love.
The word "sacred" should be connected to love; only in the context of
love has the word "sacred" any meaning. For example, any husband who is
capable of sacrificing for the well-being of his wife is a sacred husband,
and vice versa. A person who is willing to die for his or her parents is a
child of filial piety, a sacred son or daughter. The person who gives his
or her life for the well-being or benefit of humanity is a saint.
Love is the supreme value. Love does not exist for myself, but for
others. True love begins when we sacrifice ourselves and live for the
purpose of loving others. True love is altruistic or unselfish, giving
constantly for the benefit of others, forgetting all that was given. If you
consciously remember what you have given, then you will begin to calculate
how much giving is enough. And if you decide that you have given enough,
then love cannot continue eternally. True love is the act of giving without
the condition of receiving.
We should all surrender before this true love. True love has power and
domain over everything, only true love transcends all barriers. To call
something true, it should contain four characteristics: it should be unique,
eternal, unchanging and absolute.
LOVE AND THE PURPOSE OF LIFE
God's eternal and unchanging ideal is the creation of a world of love,
peace and happiness for all humanity. "Heart" is the most important and at the
core of all the attributes that exist in the Divine character. We could define
"heart" as the emotional impulse to experience happiness through love. In
the heart of God there is an unrestrained emotional force and desire to
love. This is the reason why religious people say that God is love, because
love originates in God. (I John 4:7- 8)
Love can only exist when we love someone or someone loves us. God needed
to create humanity to communicate His love. It is for the sake of love that
human beings are the supreme creation.
An ideal needs to be shared with someone. This was the profound reason
which motivated God to create mankind, whom He created in His image and
likeness as the visible manifestation of His invisible characteristics,
as objects of His love, in the position of His children, to be the source
of His happiness and to share His creativity.
God created the physical and the spiritual world as the environment and
object of enjoyment for humanity. If we were able to become one with God in
true love, we could have dominion over God's creation, both the physical as
well as the spiritual world.
True love contains the three great attributes of "inheritance,"
"participation," and "equality." For example, if a poor woman who did not
have the means to get an education is married to the president, and they are
a loving couple, then what belongs to the husband belongs to the wife. She
has the right to participate in her husband's interests and because they
love each other more than themselves they are equal in value.
When we live our lives completely for others, we reach gradually the same
essence and characteristics of God. The vibrations of God are converted in
our vibrations and God's feelings are transmitted to us naturally. Living in
this manner, we become a resonant body of God's heart and love. This is the
state of perfection which God wants us to reach and it is for that purpose
that He originally created us.
In order to carry out such purpose, God created man and woman
so that they could first grow and reach their individual maturity and
perfection. Ultimately, with His blessing they would unite intoxicated in love,
establishing an eternal couple and becoming True Parents for their children,
transmitting to them physical and spiritual life. (This ideal is expressed
in Genesis 1:28).
The purpose of our existence is to realize this ideal of true love and
happiness in the family, which will naturally extend outward into the society,
nation and world.
From all the existing institutions or many others that can be created, the
family is the first and most important, having God as its very founder. The
family is the fundamental unit and the indispensably building block of any
society. If we cannot establish peace, love and happiness in our homes, there
will be no hope of creating peace, love and happiness in the larger world.
Good families are the basis for a healthy, prosperous and happy society
anywhere. (See diagram #1).
The family is the school of love and the ideal place where the love of
God is seen expressed in human relationships. In the family, one is to grow
to experience and learn the widening realms of love: initially children's
love towards one's parents, then love among one's brothers and sisters,
then conjugal love with one's spouse, and, finally, parental love towards
one's own children. When we learn and practice this four realms of heart
we can graduate from this school of love. Through this process we become
prepare to master all human relationships in the larger society.
When we look at a family, we see that parents stand in the center. The
family could only be formed because of the love between a man and a
woman. Love is like the glue, the very element that brings them together and
also maintains continuing unity. The love of parents is the origin of our
physical and spiritual life and transmits the blood lineage. Therefore it
is crucial to talk about the value and purpose of love in human life.
Throughout history, numerous viewpoints addressing life, the universe
and God have presented unresolved problems. The solution to those problems
will be found when a true man and a true woman unite with God in true love,
creating an absolute unit, due to the fact that this is God's original
purpose and the source of absolute value.
If we observe adolescents, we can see that they are preparing themselves
physically and spiritually for the experience of love. They are usually
very romantic, idealistic, sensitive and passionate. These are the signs
that they are opening themselves to the complete sensation of love, in body,
mind and spirit. They are like a blossom before opening. The sweetness is kept
inside. Therefore, before they can be blessed in marriage they should be like
a bud, very closed, keeping in this way the fragrance and sweetness in the
core of their being. Each young person should value and carefully keep his
or her chastity and purity as the most valuable treasure. This is the best
guarantee for the success of their future family. Chastity and purity of
heart before marriage allow for the continuing growth of one's personality
and spirit. There is a definite correlation between one's development of a
healthy sexuality and one's spiritual growth towards a virtuous adulthood. All
this elements are needed in order to successfully build a bond of true and
lasting love in marriage. On that foundation, man and woman can establish
a strong couple and become good parents for their children, transmitting to
them a true tradition of love to follow. This is the divine principle.
God created man for the sake of woman and woman for the sake of man. So
we can say that from the moment a person is born he or she was born for
his or her mate. Man and woman are the substantial manifestations of the
masculine and feminine characteristics which come from God. They are like
energy accumulators, loading energy originating from God, but of an opposite
polarity. It is as if some kind of electricity is generated between man and
woman, such as between the positive and negative pole of an electric circuit
which, once connected, causes electricity to flow; God would generate more
and more voltage between them, creating an enormous spark and explosion like
a fireball of love. That spark means unity and creativity.
When love is produced between a man and a woman, a kind of magnetic
field is generated flowing from God. Therefore, all creation is like a love
machine. God created human beings to be the internal part of the machine,
while the universe is the external part. Both parts vibrate, united with
the same wavelength of love.
Where are man and woman finally connected for the consummation of their
love? Through their sexual organs. The man's organs of love, as well as
the woman's, are located in the center of the body, where all the nervous
systems are concentrated. God put them in a protected place, like a hidden
These organs, if man had not been degraded in the beginning, should in the
last instance be connected to their center of energy, which is God. The sexual
organs should originally be the palaces of God's love. They were supposed to
be the most important and sacred places, through which love is consummated,
life created and lineage transmitted.
God created men and women in such a way that they harmonize sexually. The
man's sexual organ is owned by his wife and vice versa. They exchange ownership
and then there is only one owner forever. This is the simple truth and no
power can change this truth. The problem has come thought the idea that
you have ownership over your sexual organ and you have the right to use it
however your body dictates.
We need to consider a fundamental principle in the pursuit of a happy and
stable family: that sex belongs only to marriage. Only husband and wife have
the access key in order to open those sacred places for the consummation
of heavenly love. The act of love is meant to be a husband and wife's most
holy possession and should never be defiled by allowing a stranger to enter
and corrupt it. This is the only correct way to understand the relationship
between husband and wife. Once a man and a woman find their true love,
it is something permanent and eternal and an alternative love could not exist.
The first night when the sharing of the first love, the moment when
husband and wife join together in total unity through a complete physical
and spiritual love, when the sexual organs join in total harmony -that is
the point where the whole purpose of creation is fulfilled.
God gave men and women sexual organs so they could join together, which is
the most incredible blessing. Through their coming together, God wants to feel
joy in the True Love palace. This is the beginning point of true happiness.
We inherit our blood lineage through the sexual act. That is not only the
consummation point for men and women, it is also the point of consummation
for God. The entire invisible image of God is completed upon this point. The
spiritual world and the physical world, creator and created, all become one
at that point. This is where the joy of creation comes into being. This
is the beginning of happiness and hope and we must restore this, we must
attain this. This is the life which God envisioned for every man and woman
here on earth and when you finish this kind of earthly life, you will go to
the Kingdom of Heaven in the eternal spiritual world.
Men and women's definite stimulus and realization are those of true love;
nothing better exists. It is like the anchor of life. When a husband and
wife's love consummate at this sacred level, God is living with them at
every moment. Once anchored in the heart of God, husband and wife could feel
totally satisfied and fulfilled forever.
The love of our parents is the origin of our physical and spiritual
life and transmits the blood lineage. Love, life and lineage are connected
with the sexual organs. The linkage of love, life and lineage is what gives
history its continuity, connecting the past, the present and the future.
That is why the act of love should be the most precious, beautiful
and sacred act of our life. But, in spite of that, it is very shocking to
discover that constantly throughout human history, the sexual organs and
the act of love have been seen as something dirty and shameful. It is also
symptomatic that most languages frequently use the most obscene and vulgar
words to describe the sexual organs and the act of love.
Although adultery is the biggest imaginable betrayal against true love,
we nevertheless see this problem unfortunately repeated in all types
of environments and cultures through the ages, as well as the fact that
prostitution degrades sex to a mere commodity. Incest, abortion, rape and
all sexual perversions are carried out through these love organs, that had
tainted human life in all races and cultures throughout human history. These
are clear reasons which prove that something terribly abnormal and wrong
exists in human conduct in relation to love and its sexual expression. It
also reveals to us, as we will see later on, that human beings deviated in
their origin and were degraded by taking a false direction in matters of love.
The sexual impulse is the most powerful inner force. If we are not able to
control, conquer and use it in the correct direction, then this sexual drive
will be the very force that will conquer, dominate and eventually destroy us.
This is the reason why it has been so difficult for people to overcome
the desire for illicit love. All the greatest religions in history have dealt
with overcoming this particular problem and this is why they all acknowledged
adultery and fornication as the worst sin. In many cases, a life of celibacy
was even promoted and encouraged as the means of purification and attaining the
highest dimension of the love of God. In this manner, a clear distinction is
drawn between the divine, heavenly and original love that they desire to reach
and the degraded and corrupt level of the worldly love which we see around us.
Love is the greatest and most powerful force in the universe and the source
of life and happiness. The act of love is destined to be, according to the
divine principle, the most beautiful, sacred and sublime experience. But
if this act is carried out in an illicit way it becomes the dirtiest,
most degraded and shameful experience. Therefore, illicit or forbidden
love is also a very destructive force that causes enormous frustrations,
disappointments and suffering.
An analogy can be made between the physical power of atomic energy and
the spiritual power of love. If atomic energy is used wisely for peaceful
purposes, it can allow for unimaginable prosperity and progress. But if
it is wrongly used, atomic power can cause unimaginable destruction and
death. In the same way, love experienced in a constructive direction gives
us the greatest happiness, but when experienced in an immature or improper
way it can result in divorce, unwanted pregnancies, abortions, incest,
domestic violence, etc. (See diagram # 2).
THE TRAGIC RESULTS OF THE WRONG USE OF LOVE
Sexual corruption has caused the fall of important and famous people,
nations and empires throughout human history. As the main enemy of the
family, illicit love bears tragic consequences for individuals, families,
and for the society as well.
The previous statement contains a very ancient and implacable wisdom. From
the very early times, sages, prophets and people shared the belief that
sooner or later uncontrolled sexual conduct would be a serious offense
against the gods and would bring misfortune in the form of decadence and
self-destruction. In the Bible it is written that the cities of Sodom
and Gomorrah were destroyed because the people who lived there led a very
Modern investigations corroborate this belief. Arnold Toynbee, one of
the most prominent modern historians, writes: "Out of twenty-one of the
most notable civilizations in history, nineteen perished not by having been
conquered, but because of internal decadence."
Another historian, Dr. J.D. Unwin from Cambridge University, who made a
study of eighty civilizations that existed over a period of four thousand
years, came to the conclusion that those civilizations who chose sexual
promiscuity degenerated, but those who exercised sexual discipline created
prosperity. Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, expressed: "I
could say over and over again - because I was never able to prove otherwise
- that sexuality is the key to disclose the problem of psychoneurosis and
neurosis in general." (Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality).
The Roman Empire managed to become incredibly strong and powerful in its
time but eventually collapsed, not because of a formidable invading external
army, but due to internal decadence that made it weak and vulnerable. From
the emperors to the common people, many indulged in a hedonistic and lustful
life. When archaeologists discovered the ruins of the city of Pompeii in Italy,
which was caught by surprise and buried by the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, they
were able to reconstruct scenes of the life at the moment of the eruption
which corroborated that the life style of its inhabitants was lustful,
licentious and immoral.
In the light of what has been expressed previously, the idea that sex
is no more then a simple biological necessity, an appetite that one must
satisfy, like drinking "a glass of water" when one is thirsty, is totally
mistaken. And it is sustained by the erroneous understanding of many that
man is just an evolved and rational animal, which is trying to completely
negate man's spiritual and divine dimension.
We need to eat, drink, sleep, have clothes and shelter for our individual
survival. Sexual activity is necessary from the biological point of view for
the procreation of our species, but not in order to maintain our individual
physical existence. The sexual act is not merely a physical function, sex is
interpersonal and affects another person directly. As we have already seen,
its true purpose is bound to be the inseparable expression of true love.
If we have any doubts about this, we should check what happened in Russia
during the first years of the revolution. In the beginning deliberate attacks
were made against marriage and the family. Divorce could be obtained for any
reason and at any moment. Abortion was legal and facilitated. Premarital
relationships were favored. Sexual relationships outside marriage were
viewed as normal. What happened? According to Professor Sorokin of Harvard
University, after a few years hordes of savage boys and girls without a home
were a real threat to the country. Millions of lives, especially girls',
were destroyed and divorce and abortion reached unheard of limits. Hatred
and conflicts produced by the polygamy and polyandry increased rapidly,
as did psychoneurosis. Work at the nationalized factories was neglected.
The results were so alarming that the government was obliged to reverse
its policies. The propaganda of the "glass of water" was declared contrary
to the revolution and in its place an official glorification of chastity
and of the sanctity of marriage was installed.
In other words, the Russians discovered the reality that sex, regarded as
an appetite, ruined not only the individual but also rapidly the state itself.
Harmony and social stability begin, naturally, with the harmony and
stability at home. It is a very common observation that the family is the
moral foundation of society, therefore the ethical and moral standard of a
nation is a reflection of the moral standard of its families.
We need affection and love for our internal growth just as we need
physical nourishment for our body. When a youngster does not receive adequate
nourishment when growing up, the body will suffer rickets, malnutrition and
other problems which will affect its formation.
The same occurs when we do not receive love, attention and the necessary
care and affection from our parents at home: it results in limitations,
complexities and other problems which eventually affect our character and
Numerous statistical and sociological investigations demonstrate that
many delinquents and criminals come from disintegrated homes and that most
of the problems of alcoholism, drug addiction and violence are linked to
the distortion or lack of love received at home. Indeed, where there is
homosexuality, free sex, drugs, and alcoholism, the world of true love
is far away. How many have been touched by the cruelty of infidelity and
divorce? Where is God in all the one-night stands? What about the nightmare
of the children who are sexually abused by a parent? Is free sex worth the
price of a broken child? Free sex is what pains God the most. A world of
free sex is absolutely contrary to the will of God and the ideal of the
family. Love comes from the stimulation of unblemished emotion, but free
sex is totally devoid of purity or true emotion.
At the present time, many problems can gradually be solved by the advance
of science, technology and the employment of new and more advanced political,
social and economic systems. But, despite the magnitude of these advances, it
seems that the more a country develops the less capable it is of recognizing
and controlling sexual immorality, adultery and all the sexually related
Such acts are normally being carried out in privacy and secrecy. This is
a problem that neither laws, pills, technology, nor the current contemporary
methods of sexual education, are capable of resolving.
Unfortunately, many of the modern programs of sexual education for the
young present purely physical (genital) information, focusing only on the
biological, medical and hygienic aspects of sex, with a range of details about
all kinds of possible methods and devices to avoid pregnancy and sexually
transmitted diseases. This teaching is devoid of ethical and moral values,
and pitifully fails to acknowledge the true and sacred purpose of love and
its sexual expression, Not surprisingly, the result of this type of education
has been to increase the very problems it claims to avoid!
Instead of emphasizing the value of chastity and a serious preparation
for true love and marriage, these methods have served in many cases as an
open invitation to a premature sexual experiences, spreading the attitude
that sex is a mere biological necessity and that the repercussions only
constitute a problem if the appropriate measures are not taken.